There was something in the James Clear email I liked this week.  There were actually a number of things, but this one stood out to me.
"Learning more will increase knowledge, but only attempting more will reduce fear. The more you try it, the less you will fear it."
It took me back to something years ago.  I am comfortable with mics these days but that was not always the case.  I remember when I first had a mic on a stand in front of me.  I looked at that thing and thought “what if I have to adjust it?” No one would have known what was going on in my head, but that mic represented the great unknown to me.  These days handling a mic is second nature but to me something only becomes second nature after first nature.
I knew stuff but I had not done stuff.  As the quote above says, it really is through applied learning that I learn, rather than by just learning itself.
Probably one of the best training sessions I ever had was a guy teaching me how to use a video camera to take over what he was doing.  He showed and described and then had me do the same as he watched.  Then he did it again emphasising the things I was vague on or missed.  Then he had me do it again.  Naturally it was different doing it when he was not around, but I felt the session was good enough for me to find my way when lost.  I did that job for a few years and got very comfortable with the process.  Fear turned to confidence.
To me not all fear is bad.  Sometimes fear is healthy and causes me to perform better.  It seems even the fear in the quote - though diminished should always be partially present to optimise performance.  Players about to compete at the highest level often talk about butterflies and one of the best rugby league players ever always had a spew before a big match.  When asked about it, players always say a bit of nerves is good for performance.
For me there is a bad fear I will do all to get rid of, and a healthy fear that enables peak endevours.  I reckon the acknowledgement of my short comings is healthy - the fear of a bad performance encourages a good performance. It is like an ingredient that improves.
But even if all goes pear shaped, I have given it a go.  My greatest admiration is for participants rather than spectators.  At the Ed Sheeran concert I loved that he started a song in the wrong key and had to start again.  Or that Vance Joy forgot the words of a song and spent a few seconds remembering them.
Even the best “blow it” but the best give it a go.  Fear can motivate in a good way.  It does not need to hold back.

I am eating humble pie.  I owe the Pee Wee’s of this world an apology.  I misjudged them.  I thought one thing about them, and it turns out the opposite appears to be true.
We have a couple that calls this yard theirs.  I will give it to them that they appear to be willing to share the yard.  They never chased away the lorikeets or doves or crows.
But they seemed impossible to get close to.  Oh they would come up close to me in the pursuit of some food that was infinitesimally small, but it was like I did not exist.  They did their thing totally oblivious to anyone or thing else.
Things changed though when I made an effort to make contact.  I had been doing it with crows.  I saw someone on tv who learned how to communicate with crows.  He was learning for a part on a movie where he was supposed to attempt to communicate with another life form.  So I put into practice what he said.
It was not like they understood what I said.  It was more they understood my intention was not to harm but befriend.
I was amazed.  Suddenly it was like we were best friends.  The Pee Wee would fly to me and while never landing on my shoulder or the like, he would find something to do (who knows what) and forage closer than any other bird.
So now we are friends.  We even give the Pee Wees their own tucker and discourage (for a bit) other birds so the Pee Wees get something to eat.
It gets weirder though.  I often think of other similar things like that in life.  I have to be honest with myself and declare that I have misjudged others based only on looks and previous behaviour.
Some people can be way different than thought when shown some kindness and respect.  Often is seems the lack of that has been a reason for not engaging - and all that is required is someone willing to try to be friends.
Like in Pee Wee land things can change big time.

Someone yesterday mentioned a person who had gotten upset with another’s point of view. The person telling the story actually agreed with the point of view that had been expressed.
It got me thinking.  Their response to me was half right, but inadequate in the most important way.  They said it really did not matter and to them it was a “move on” thing but under their breath they expressed an uncharitable feeling.
That to me was the gist of the matter.  It caused me to look up the meaning of a word not often heard these days.  In fact, according to the Oxford something or other it is said four times in a million words.  That is the word “gracious”.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary said it could be defined as, “marked by kindness and courtesy.  The Cambridge dictionary described it as “pleasant, polite, calm, comfortable, or showing grace.”  I actually really like what AI added.  “Generous in spirit” — willing to forgive, overlook faults, or give someone the benefit of the doubt. “   Full of grace” — in a Christian sense, reflecting God’s character: mercy, compassion, and love.
I was really interested in looking into the meaning of the word as to me, as it relates to the human condition, it is a biggy.  So often it seems, and I have been guilty of it, I feign disinterest and all the while harbour an attitude of ill-will and ungraciousness to the other.
I reckon true attitudes emerge when restraint is cast off.  It is why I think so often when coming out from under anaesthetic, people often say or do things that are uncharacteristic.
It is one of the reasons I embrace Christianity like I do.  I have found that true graciousness can only come out of graciousness already present.  My bad attitude to me is not the end of the story.  It may take a while but for me graciousness is a letting go of my incapability and embracing the graciousness of another for whom graciousness comes naturally.
I may not agree with another, but it need not mean disassociation or they become my enemy.  All have a lot to say and things to teach - for my part graciousness means loving accepting and where necessary forgiving another.  Love feigned is not love.  Acceptance feigned is not acceptance and forgiving feigned is not forgiving.
Ungraciousness is for me often is a shallow water response to a deep water issue.