I say regularly how important it is for us to be there for each other.  I know it and stand by it.
But I do acknowledge that there are times no matter who I seek out help from, it is not forthcoming.  I need to stand seemingly alone.
It is funny but I find that is the measure of my strength.  Sometimes I don’t feel inclined to do what I know is the best thing for me to do.  All the feelings I have are contrary to what I truly maintain.  I would like the solace of another’s voice.  The comfort that comes from encouragement.
Many times others are not to blame.  They often have legitimate activities to attend to and sometimes they don’t.  Whatever the reason others are unavailable.  Their heart is with me and want the best for me, but it seems circumstances conspire to cause them to be unavailable.  I do think that that can work for good for me.  To me there is no greater test of character than to go on when feelings desert me.
 So often my dream is born in times of excitement with a real feeling of “I can do this.”  The true test to me is “do I really want to do this?” when my feelings tell me it is a pipe dream and it would be so much easier to maintain the status quo.
That to me is the test of a dream.  Inventors fail often before they succeed.  If they had given up at failure – perhaps thinking they would never find what they think is there, then the world would be the poorer for it.  Or perhaps someone else would have discovered what they could have with persistence and endurance.
There is no doubt such times are difficult, and I only want them to end.  Yet every time I am the richer for the wilderness.  At the time of traversing a wilderness I see only rocks and sand and desert.  I get thirsty.  The familiar takes on an alure.  Perhaps the hardness or emptiness of a past position is forgotten and only the brief reprieves of contentment are thought about.  Often the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that on the other side of the wilderness is a pleasant place I (and perhaps no one) have never visited.
So for me the support of others is welcome but not my motivation but holding to what I accept - both in the daylight and the night.  I may feel alone, but I am not and help to reach my destination is on the way.

Merril’s car number plate is her birthday date.  I can never forget it.  I see it all the time.
For her last birthday she received an unexpected gift.  It was a gratitude jar.  The person who gave it to her did not know that one of the topics highlighted in her studies at the time was gratitude.  It was the right thing at the right time.
I mention it because it is my turn.  It’s funny how the longer I live the numbers only ever go up.
But it has got me thinking about my life.  My philosophy is that no matter how bad something is there is always something good I can highlight and dwell on if I choose to.  I have been conducting a little experiment about that.  As life goes by, and things happen to me both good and bad I have been looking for the good in things.  I actually find it pretty amazing that no matter what happens there has been good.
That does not mean I am glad for all that happens.  I would not wish a tumour or stroke on another.  Yet even in that there is stuff I am thankful for.  It could have been way worse.  In fact, I did not know it but I was not expected to live more than five months after it.  Merril was told to expect me to be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life.  I have the wheelchair here under the table I am sitting at.  I have never needed it thankfully.
Yet even having that has proved to be a good thing.  We have been able to lend it to folk who needed it, and I had it here for my bro who had a worse stroke than I.  He has since passed away.  His stroke is a bad thing, but a good thing to come from it was how it turned his life around.  He may have gone but I do not morn as someone who has no hope.  I know I will see him again.
I have been thinking about growing up in Townsville and the coming to Brisbane.  I am thankful for my life, my wife, my friends, my employment, my volunteering, my home, my direction.  In fact the more I think about it the more I find to be thankful for.  Bad stuff happens for sure, and I could highlight that and be miserable.  Yet there has been plenty of good and I choose to highlight that.  I am grateful. 

There are all sorts of statistics that show I am in the top percentage in the world for having stuff I need for a pleasant existence.  I have a roof over my head, food on the table, security, a government that holds close to the ideals I have and allows me freedom.
I am incredibly grateful for what I have.  I do not take it for granted and know it could all disappear in an instance. (In Ukraine they went to the soccer one night and were at war the next day.  In LA they went to bed having beautiful homes and 24 hours later they were homeless.)
So I realize that and as someone said to me that gave me a stamp collection “hold them loosely.”  If the truth be known what I have I work for and do all I know to do, but it does not alter the fact that it could all be gone in an instant.
Having said that I know that all of us need a hand at times.  I do not want my resources to be squandered.  In helping others unwisely, I could so easily become someone who has nothing and needs assistance.  While helpful my help could end up being but a tiny blip in the overall need. It reminds me of “give a man a fish and feed him for a day or teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime.”
But I saw this morning that it is not as complicated as I can make it.  Everyday I come across strangers that just want someone to take an interest in them.  In some ways that is probably more the case than it has ever been.  They say this generation is the most disconnected ever (despite appearing to be the most connected ever).  Tools to connect have never been more prolific.  Actual connections have never been scarcer.
Volunteering at a Market has enabled me to see that more and more there are middle class poor.  I’m fighting a loosing battle saying we don’t take cloths but when we put them on the table as freebies, that proves to be an incredibly popular table.  One girl tried something on and loved that they could wear something really nice another did not need as they had so many.  After getting his mum's ok, we gave away a football to a kid and it was like his most precious possession.
The bottom line for me is that I do not need to be monetarily rich to help another.  I just need to be rich in caring.  People want someone to talk to and need to know others care.  Helping is really something everyone can do.  I need it.  You need it.  I have found there is no faster way to get it than to give it.