Darn.  Rats. Drat.  And other words I don’t really mean.  I was all set to mow the lawn when I got a phone call.  It had taken me a while to get to the point where I was going to mow the lawn, and then events conspired against me.
I had had a doctor’s appointment in the morning.  This doctor is hard to get, so I book a day each month for the next six months or so.
So at 8.10 I was waiting for him.  I saw him arrive and talk to the receptionist.  He was in no hurry at all.  Then he called my name and apologised.  He was expecting someone else and did not know I was there to see him.  Anyway it was a regular check up and when I said “what’s this” referring to something I had seen on my leg, he informed me it was a skin cancer.  I am booked in for a full skin check and a couple of biopsies.
I then went home and had an early sleep.  Merril had some banking to do and wanted to get a couple of things.
It was then I thought, “I will mow while she is gone.”  So I got the mower out and my headphones (I like to listen to music while I mow).  It was then the phone rang.  It was a Marcel from BWD who said he would be here in 15 minutes to get measurements of the door for the dishwasher.  I was expecting Jake from the company at 3 pm.
I thought “I can’t mow when I expect someone to come.”  So I waited.  He turned up.  Apparently he is the expert in dishwasher doors.  He had an off sider with him.  They did stuff.  One thing I really liked is the off sider was checking the doors opening and one I said, “good luck closing that one?”  He told me if there are problems like that then just turn this thing.  Hey presto it worked a treat.
Jake was phoned and he was in the area and came too.  So there were workers all through the kitchen.  The first two left and Jake remained doing stuff.
By this time it had started to rain and there went any chanced of mowing.  Hence the insincere drat.
Oh well it is still there to be mowed.  Probably a later in the week thing now as the weather is still very iffy and the lawn very wet.  Anyway, I have other things to get done.

“Your passion is what you are willing to suffer for.”  I recently heard someone say that, and I have thought about it a lot since.  I reckon there is a measure of truth in that one.
First responders at mass shootings reckon they see something a lot.  That is, a guy with himself over his wife endeavouring to protect her.  There is something innate in many guys that seeks to protect.  It is not something where it is said “oh I should” but often it is “I will.”  Their wife is their passion.
I was thinking of it in other terms too.  Often passion is seen in what I am willing to forgo.  For a runner or sports person, it can be “I will forgo the pizza for the moment in pursuit of my goal.”  So often on retiring or following a big event, competitors are asked what they will do now, and often it is to partake of something that has been out of bounds in pursuit of their goal.
It is not like it could not have been done before but a person is willing to suffer deprivation in pursuit of their goal.  The item while not taboo in itself, is incompatible with the passion.  It is one or the other – not both.
The reason I have found that so interesting is I know there are things that are not wrong in themselves, but they may be wrong for me at this time, if I want to achieve what I have in mind.
I guess there is a cost involved in anything I want to go for.  I am interested in stamp collecting.  At one stage I was doing it and determined I needed a great many leaves of different sizes.  I got them.  It cost.  The “suffering” pursuing my passion was financial.  I decided it was worth it.  I was willing to “suffer” a financial hit, as I knew achieving what I was after meant doing so.
I do not know about others, but I always thought of suffering only in terms of physical pain.  Yet to me suffering can take many forms.  It can be as complicated as gut wrenching out of the blue or seemingly as simple as making a best practice choice that takes me on a road less travelled.  It may also be the suffering of absence, or the suffering of denial.  The suffering of hurt or rejection.  The suffering of loneliness.  In many ways I have not experienced suffering -  but in many ways I have.
It is the suffering of “pursuing a dream” that right now I feel I need to bear.  The suffering of saying “no” to one thing and “yes” to another. “No” cuts many desirable possibilities but “yes” puts me on the road on which I need to go.  Passion determines if I am willing to do it.

It really is one foot in front of the other at the moment.
The kitchen is all but finished.  When I say all but, they had not told the workers that the dishwasher was integrated and had a panel.  So the dishwasher is in but has no panel.  It shows what I know.  I thought the dishwasher was in backwards.  It was not.  It was just the panel was missing.  It all opens normally but the front needs to be finished.  The head worker said he would be back to do that.
The good thing is though the rest is good to go.  The splashback is there, and all the power connected.  Now it is a case of transferring everything back the way we want it.  That is actually a lot of stuff.  So our lounge is crowded with stuff that has been slowly disappearing into the kitchen.  The fish will go back there eventually.  In the meantime, he is in his tank in my room.
So this week is dedicated to getting the kitchen the way we want it along with a general tidy up of things we have been letting hang.  Plus other things we want to do.  It really looks like this break time is full.  There is the mowing to do again.  It is not like that is done once and then it is done forever.  It is not long since I mowed last time.  It seems the grass loves summer.  It just grows and grows.  Time to do it again.  Then there is stuff we want to give to the market.  Before we can do that though we will be taking a trip today to trash and treasure with the stuff that did not sell from our last couple of markets.  I am looking forward to that.  I am hoping to have more storage room as a result.
There is stuff at home here to that needs to go to the dump.  Where possible we use bins, but they are in general use too.  One new thing is we now have a green bin.  That is really handy for garden waste.  It has been used on the first day it was collected, and I can envisage what goes into it for the next visit.  We use a lot of stuff for mulch, but some stuff (branches) is too big for that.  So it is cut down and put in the bin.  We also put weeds in there.  There is no shortage of them. 
So we have enough on our plate for this “holiday” period.  I have not mentioned the granny flat or shed, or library.  They all involve hours of work.  Despite all to be done one thing is for sure though - we will be having plenty of breaks and celebrating.