Double Trouble
“Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.” That to me is a sombre saying but I reckon there is some truth in it. It seems to me there are times in my life when what is thought or said by me is either misunderstood or not agreed with and requires that I stand alone. This is not times of stubbornness or rejecting what all are saying for no other reason than “because”, but times where my words are taken a way unintended. It can result from others listening to speak rather than listening to hear or someone having no idea what was intended in the first place and interpreting something in a way totally unintended. I have been doing a bit of reading lately about talking with others. One of the things that has stood out to me big time is the importance of listening. It is important to the point of, if possible, repeating back to the sayer what they have said. The intention is that the speaker corrects or further explains any thing not heard the way intended. It is funny but it is not safe to assume another’s understanding of a term or phrase is the same way I see it. When not repeated back to the sayer it is so possible to hear what is not being said. There is an assumption that a particular phrase means one thing when it totally means another. Newspaper Headlines contain a wealth of double meanings. For example “New Obesity Study Looks for Larger Test Group” sounds like the obesity study is looking for larger people for their test group. Or “Criminals Get Nine Months in Violin Case” sounds like the criminals will spend nine months inside a violin case. (https://www.yourdictionary.com/articles/examples-double-entendre). Another example I saw was from popular culture. A guy may be described as “hot.” Is their temperature being referred to, or their looks? My outlook is that some things are worth explaining, and many are not. I could spend a lot of time explaining or defending a stance yet the value of such a thing to me is dependent on the hearer. If they are content only to hear what they want to hear I am wasting my time explaining. If on the other hand someone really wants to understand then explaining is time well spent. What matters to me is I am true to myself. I cannot determine what another ultimately hears, but if I am open and true to myself, I am in a position to embrace or discard a view.
0 Comments
Merril and I got married in this home in 2012. For all the time since, we have had a view of a tree in a neighbouring yard. A huge tree. A tree considered a weed in some states. A tree the type of which lines the footbaths in Toowoomba. A Camphor laurel. Not a native tree. But a beautiful looking tree to me.
But as of yesterday, the view of that tree is no more. The owner of the home passed away and the new owners cut it down. I reckon it had to go. It did nothing for the owner of the property except perhaps provide shade. It was so big it really took up any space in the back yard. One thing I do know is it provided shelter and homes for many birds. I personally have never seen so much bird activity in our tree after that one came down. I reckon the birds were just checking out the joint. We had to go out in the morning and the people chopping the tree down were just getting started. We had some way smaller trees removed a while ago including one larger one. Merril said to the guy removing the tree, “you guys love dealing with bigger trees don’t you?” She was met with an enthusiastic yes. The ones dealing with the Camphor Laurel must have been in like 7th heaven. It was huge. We do wonder if that was where our crow nested. He and the wife used to fly off in that direction after a feed. We have seen him since, but not her yet. She is way shyer. When we returned home after lunch, they had dealt with much of the tree but still had a ways to go. From time to time, Merril and I would wander out the back to check progress. Removing something that size seems a real art. Timbers that were huge were dropped safely with ease. They were then quickly mulched. We are sorry but not sorry to see it go. We love trees but this one seemed to be more of a pest than an asset to the owner. I was talking to a friend of the former owner and he said he was there when it was planted. He rued it happening. Anyway, I reckon the birds must be used to moving on these days. Merril and I went to watch hockey matches at the Commonwealth Games.
We watched it with mates of ours. He was from Ghana and she from Japan. I had a transfer put onto a tee shirt of Ghana and I bought a Ghanan flag. I actually combined it with my love of stamps and learned a bit about Ghana I had no idea about. I ended up giving him the Ghanan flag. We were also watching South Africa play so I bought a South African flag as well. That one I still have. It was good company and enjoyable to watch. When I was in Townsville, I used to play table tennis under our house against an indigenous guy (the place was high set – we did not lie on our tummies to play). We would have the time of our lives. I will never forget the laughter. At work I used to play table tennis in lunch time with a guy from Taiwan. He was the only person I have ever played who had a back hand played with a forehand action. It is hard to explain but it is popular in Asia. One thing I have found is that no matter the race or creed we all love the same things. Whether working hard or playing hard we had similar goals. There are those right into things and those who’s attitude leaves something to be desired. This is not a trait of one particular race only, but from my experience it is universal. It seems to me we all share the start. How we finish is totally up to each individual. There are things about culture I can miss to my detriment and potential embarrassment. I may be a big believer in “when in Rome do as the Romans do” but I also strongly feel to give custom where custom is due. There are times when respect determines I should behave a way, that may be foreign to me but is normal to another. For me custom is to be celebrated and differences embraced (I love how the Indians love to dance). It is deviations which lead to unreasonable death and destruction which I avoid. It appears to me all cultures share that. As far as I am concerned, we are all in this together. I will give and take help no matter where it comes from. Everyone needs it from time to time. |