Yesterday turned out differently to what I expected.
I had spoken to the people suppling the door for our dishwasher the day before and they said they would be here about lunchtime to install it.
Before then I thought I could mow the lawn.  I did that.  It was a bit dewy and the lawn proved to be more of a challenge than I had expected it to be.  But I did get it done.
When I was doing the front, someone pulled up and unloaded a drone.  I had never seen it before.  It was someone taking pictures of a place that was for sale.  I found it fascinating to watch it overhead.  I ended up talking with her briefly. 
The person who lives across the road also ended up coming for a chat.  He is around my age and talked about how he pays bills in person and gets encouraged to do it all online.  I reckon that will be the way but we are not there yet.  Judging by the disappearance of banks it is the way it is all heading.  Our only bank is in the valley, and we must do just about everything online.
Anyway after mowing, wiper snipping and blowing, I was finished and I was cactus.  I thought I would wait for the installation.  At around one I texted the person asking if they were still coming.  Turns out someone else had grabbed the door and omitted to contact me.  The installation is now set for Monday morning.
I needed to get onions for a Bunnings BBQ we are having on Saturday.  25 kgs of onions needed to be prepared.  I approach cutting onions like I am in a space suit.  I just can’t go on if the fumes get to me, so I am masked up, wear goggles and have a fan blowing on my face.  That is a today thing.
Alone with doing that I have a visit to the bank.  I have an appointment for it.  Plus we will visit “Containers for cash” and set up for the market we run tomorrow.  The electrician is also coming today to do some stuff we need done in the cabin.  As well we will deliver the cut onions someplace they are being picked up from tomorrow morning.
The day promises to be full and interesting.

Today’s home truth is borne of something I thought to myself earlier.  “Feelings are fickle.”
Sometimes I am a real list man and cross things off as they are done and enjoy a real feeling of accomplishment.  At other times despite a list I do not feel like doing anything.  I know I need to rest when my body tells me to rest.  Yet at other times I know my feelings are telling me something I do well to ignore.  I do things despite how I feel not because of how I feel.
There are undoubtedly times when I feel totally alone and unmotivated and wonder will I ever feel different again.  It reminds me of a time of drought in Townsville and I looked at the blue sky a and wondered if it would ever rain again.  It did.  Time goes quick, but in the midst of things sometimes it can seem time goes real slow.
It is amazing to me that I can be absorbed in something and the time seems to go by so fast.  I wonder to myself “where did that time go?”  While at other times it seems the clock has almost stopped and time drags.  Nothing is different except me and the way I feel.
That is why to me feelings are not my template.  I can be over the moon with excitement and I can be down in the dumps.  The way I feel is more to do with bio rhythms and news I get rather than the way things are. The person next to me can be as happy as Larry (Larry must have been a happy person) while I am the exact opposite - or it can be the other way around.
So to me it is important I look beyond my fleeting feelings to something more solid and secure.  I will not deny my feelings as they are the way I feel.  Yet I know the way I feel is temporary.  Whether I feel great or terrible the truth is constant.  When I feel bad, I know that all storms pass and I will feel different again. 

It is with sadness we announce the demise of “Fishy.”
It is with joy we announce the arrival of “Fishy.”
Ok admittedly we were a little shocked at the demise of our other fishy.  He had been looking so well.  Then he became lethargic and off his food.
This caused us to go to the fish shop looking for some substance that gets rid of bad bugs and stuff.  I so did not expect to hear the aquarium guy ask what he asked.  He said, “how old is it?”  We estimated going on two years (he was fully grown when we got him).
He then said the key was in that answer.  Their life span is approximately 2 – 4 years.  So his problem was likely to be old age getting him.
That was not the news we were expecting.  We got home and he was no better.  In fact he seemed worse and the next morning worse again.  He did not last the day.
What we had been told had caused me to look it up in that completely trustworthy and reliable source called google.  I learned a few things there.  The average life span of a Siamese Fighter depends on the age of the earth (did I say that or just think it?).  Err I mean their age.  It averages 2 – 4 years.  That is the shortest life span of a fish I have ever had.  But there it was in black and white.  Oh and there was a colour photo.
Merril and I were grieving but trying to remain strong (there is one school of thought that says he would have come back as something else.  Who knows he could be an even gooder fish.  That is maybe not what is meant, but I am not ruling out a work in progress here.)
We did a total clean of everything that was in the tank and replaced the water.  We were excited about getting a replacement fish.  In fact so excited that we went to the aquarium store.  It was closed for the public holiday.  But google had told me it was open.  It had lied to me.  So much for reliability.
We wanted a blue fish this time.  Good thing too I reckon cause Google had told me that the colour enhancing food we give it, actually improves blue Siamese Fighters immunity.  And the reliability of Google is legendary.
Anyway day one.  He seems happy.  And he is little.  In fact, his name could be “little fishy” as opposed to the other one who’s name was “fishy.”  But depending on how long he is with us, “Little Fishy” will one day not be right. 
So “Fishy” it is.  We are not confused.   And it is a good start.