I am so musical I have a set of drums in my ears.
Music has played a big part in life for me. Less so since the tumour and stroke though. I warble now rather than sing. That is ok though. Music had taken more of a back seat for me in recent years anyway. Not so much listening to music. I still do a lot of that and love it. It is thee playing of music I do less of. I did play the guitar and the piano. I wrote and recorded some of my own songs. These days that does seem easier than it was. I used band in a box and loved that I could load a program and be a bass player while playing notes on the piano. Any way I put together some things. But these days individuals can sound like a whole band and the backing is seamless. We had advantages our forbears did not have and people today have advantages we did not have. I guess it is a bit like Merril said when having trouble with some technology. “I need a 12 year old to show me.” I used to organize people to perform quarterly at the church I attended. We had food and music and guest artists. I would always make a point of asking second tier people. Those that were not necessarily seen as the best but were incredible good but lacked opportunity. They were the ones I would give opportunity to and they were great. I do remember performing one of my songs and having a band back me who had never seen or played the song before. They were great. I did preface my performance with “if I am going down you are going down with me.” We did not go down and they were great. It’s funny but they were a bluegrass band. I had seen a busker in town say something I thought I would use. He said “I don’t care what you give as long as you fold it neatly.” I loved that line and as I used to take a donation for any performers I used it. That was the best we ever received. I do not play much these days but I do have piano, guitars, bass, tambourines at home at the ready for anyone who wants to play. I am constantly listening to music and enjoy a lot of both new and old.
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I tend to post thoughts from James Clear a bit later these days.
Something said in the last one I know to be true. “It's not about knowing what to say. It's about being there when nobody knows what to say. The only thing people need to hear is, "You are not alone." And that doesn't require words. It just requires your presence." I had a mate come around obviously in distress. I felt at a loss as to what to say. So I just listened. Then he said something and said, “I feel better for that.” I had said nothing, but I know he appreciated sharing. He was able to work though his issue. I said nothing. But I was there. Really that was all he needed. Guys especially apparently are great advice givers. We like to solve problems. Often what is mentioned is not so that the problem can be solved, but the problem can be shared. Often people work out what needs doing. My role is simply to be there. Maybe that is what empathy is all about. Meriam-Webster defined empathy as, “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.” Simple and straight forward. Often that does not involve words, and words can get in the way. To me friendships are born of empathy. I heard someone say something like “you know when friendship has been achieved when there is no need for words to fill the spaces.” That is what I find attractive. I like the feeling of comfort that is derived from not saying anything but feeling I am understood. Others must like that too. That is one reason why friends are sought out. There is not the feeling that things need to be said. They do not even need to make sense. The important thing is being understood. I am way more inclined to express my true feeling when I know the listener does not judge but understands - and helps me celebrate when I finally “get it.” It was compiled at the end of last century but it seems so much is relevant today. It is a book of quotes. In this day when I see what I consider are the excesses of social media, I thought immediately of the words of the song, “you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.”
“The right to do something does not mean doing it is right” By William Safire and “My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular” by Adali E. Stevenson says it all for me. There were what I consider random quotes that I really liked. “a society that values its privileges above it’s principles soon loses both” by Dwight Eisenhower and “it is easy to take liberty for granted when you have never had it taken from you” by Dick Cheney seem to me to be very relevant today. One that immediately had me think of a song I particularly like was, “freedom is the right to choose the habits that bind you” by a Renate Rubenstein. The song I like contained the words “you set me free with that ball and chain.” Cicero said, “we are in bondage to the law, in order to be free.” Igor Stravinsky put it this way, “if everything would be permitted to me, I would be lost in this abyss of freedom. I totally believe in free choice, and I also know that not all choices are good ones. A child is told not to put its hand on a hot plate not to limit but to warn. The quotes I am drawn to include, “the function of freedom is to free somebody else” by Toni Morrison and “loving someone else more than you love yourself, that’s freedom” by Malcolm Muggeridge. The reason I like those quotes is I am a big believer in putting others before oneself. That sounds noble but I have really found that by seeing the needs of others met my own are. |