I tend to post thoughts from James Clear a bit later these days.
Something said in the last one I know to be true. “It's not about knowing what to say. It's about being there when nobody knows what to say. The only thing people need to hear is, "You are not alone." And that doesn't require words. It just requires your presence." I had a mate come around obviously in distress. I felt at a loss as to what to say. So I just listened. Then he said something and said, “I feel better for that.” I had said nothing, but I know he appreciated sharing. He was able to work though his issue. I said nothing. But I was there. Really that was all he needed. Guys especially apparently are great advice givers. We like to solve problems. Often what is mentioned is not so that the problem can be solved, but the problem can be shared. Often people work out what needs doing. My role is simply to be there. Maybe that is what empathy is all about. Meriam-Webster defined empathy as, “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.” Simple and straight forward. Often that does not involve words, and words can get in the way. To me friendships are born of empathy. I heard someone say something like “you know when friendship has been achieved when there is no need for words to fill the spaces.” That is what I find attractive. I like the feeling of comfort that is derived from not saying anything but feeling I am understood. Others must like that too. That is one reason why friends are sought out. There is not the feeling that things need to be said. They do not even need to make sense. The important thing is being understood. I am way more inclined to express my true feeling when I know the listener does not judge but understands - and helps me celebrate when I finally “get it.”
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It was compiled at the end of last century but it seems so much is relevant today. It is a book of quotes. In this day when I see what I consider are the excesses of social media, I thought immediately of the words of the song, “you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.”
“The right to do something does not mean doing it is right” By William Safire and “My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular” by Adali E. Stevenson says it all for me. There were what I consider random quotes that I really liked. “a society that values its privileges above it’s principles soon loses both” by Dwight Eisenhower and “it is easy to take liberty for granted when you have never had it taken from you” by Dick Cheney seem to me to be very relevant today. One that immediately had me think of a song I particularly like was, “freedom is the right to choose the habits that bind you” by a Renate Rubenstein. The song I like contained the words “you set me free with that ball and chain.” Cicero said, “we are in bondage to the law, in order to be free.” Igor Stravinsky put it this way, “if everything would be permitted to me, I would be lost in this abyss of freedom. I totally believe in free choice, and I also know that not all choices are good ones. A child is told not to put its hand on a hot plate not to limit but to warn. The quotes I am drawn to include, “the function of freedom is to free somebody else” by Toni Morrison and “loving someone else more than you love yourself, that’s freedom” by Malcolm Muggeridge. The reason I like those quotes is I am a big believer in putting others before oneself. That sounds noble but I have really found that by seeing the needs of others met my own are. Here we are over “hump” day.
Wednesday has come and gone. We had our market first thing Wednesday morning. We had a good chat to different ones while providing bargains for sale. We aim for a certain amount which all goes to a food pantry that runs at the same time. We made it. What had not sold in the five hours we offered it (Wednesdays and Saturdays) we take to the Treasure Market. It is hoped that items available to a wider audience will sell. We also offer cloths for free (though I am trying to put a lid on cloths donations as we are getting inundated, and we have limited storage.) I must admit free cloths prove to be very popular. After our trip to the Treasure Market we head off for lunch at a local joint. That is something we look forward to. We also often get a few items needed from a local Woolies before we head home. At home we have a rest before getting into preparing for going out that evening. This week is also Menzone Saturday in the month. That happens once a month. I have guys over for breakfast, a chat and a talk by someone organized beforehand. It has proven to be popular, and I am looking at using today to reorganize the set up to allow for more to sit together while eating and having a chin wag. Guys who have never been before have said they want to come. What happens remains to be seen, but I set up as though it will be. Merril has an appointment early this morning and will get the sausages waiting for me (that I forgot to pick up). Merril will also use the time later to clean up the BBQ area. Ok it looks ok to me, but when Merril does a clean up it is a real clean up and I am always glad she did it. I was looking forward to time off after that, but I have asked myself why. When I think of the coming week, I have things to do every day except next Thursday (which I have designated my day off). Still I would have it no other way. I love what I do and time off is not just Thursdays but often between events. I find the best way to grow as a person is to do. There are plenty of opportunities to do. |