​Sometimes it seems the hardest thing to do is to say no to myself.
I am used to living a fairly comfortable lifestyle.  On the whole (and it is obvious when something is out of reach) when I want something I can have it.   For me, that mainly involves small things.  Like something to eat when I want it.  Or another 10 minutes rest, or stopping something not because it is the right thing to do, but because it is what I want to do.
To me often it is an accumulation of little things that stop a flow in me, or divert me from a course of action.  I thought of Beavers.  They are famous for building dams across creeks.  Yet those dams are not constructed of one massive tree but of many smaller branches.  Enough small things do the same as one big thing.  In the case of the Beaver, it builds a dam.
For me a dam can be a positive or negative thing.  When it involves me building an edifice that hinders or stops a good flow in me, it is not a good thing.  It seems a lot of my small surrenders to myself see me not equipped to face larger challengers.  The more I dam inspiration that costs, the more likely I am to stagnate.
I have had a change of thinking recently about wants and needs.  Wants are not automatically a bad thing or an illegitimate aspiration.  A long time ago I bought many leaves to house stamps.  For sure I needed them to complete the task I had in mind.  Yet really it was a want.    I would not have died because I did not have them.  But I wanted them and got them.
For me the key is “legitimate.”  By legitimate I mean right thing at the right time in the right place.  Sometimes denial is the right thing at the right time in the right place.  Not always, but sometimes.  It is recognising the times it is right that is important to me.
It seems all my personal growth involves me negotiating the maze of denial and acceptance.  I only ever grow through denial.
Vines for wine are pruned.  Denial of one form of self-expression leads to greater fruitfulness.  Cutting back or not allowing stagnation is never the easy path, but at the right time, in the right way and the right place, it is always the route to greater fruitfulness and self-fulfilment.

​It is a rare site indeed to see our outside sitting area with absolutely nothing in it.
I spent the day yesterday getting everything out of that area.  It is a part of our clever plan.  But it was something I was hesitant to start, as I knew the amount of work involved.
What we have in mind to do is use the lino that was in our garage as the floor for the sitting area.  It will involve cutting and laying the lino.  We had lino there before but it was not enough.  It was cleverly disguised so it looked complete.  About just over half was one piece and the rest was off cuts and a strategically placed carpet.
So the plan is the half we used in the sitting room will move to the bbq area while the big piece will go into, and cover completely, the outside sitting area.  Both plans involve moving everything, laying the lino, then moving everything back.
As a mate of mine has said though it is good doing such things as it enables a reassessment of what is really wanted and what is a no longer used thing.
The best laid plans though.  I thought it would be about a half days work clearing out the sitting area.  What I had to do though was work out where everything would go in the mean time.  I did that and it is good, though crowded, in the house.  Fortunately that will only be briefly.
Merril gave a hand moving some stuff where necessary, but she was doing her own culling mission inside.  I had to think of ways of moving things.  I did come up with ideas that made it possible.  I rolled a round table and walked another cupboard into place by lifting it from end to end.  The washing machine Merril helped guide.  It is a spare good one that along with a couch a relative is taking.
We also went to the dump to get rid of some things we have wanted to remove for ages.  Merril hosed out the room I had cleared and dusted down the walls.  I was happy to let her.  I was over it for the day.
The last thing we did was move our bees about a meter.  Where it was will be worked on and we need to clear the area.  We have a new place in mind for their home, but to ensure they return to their hive we can only move it gradually.
So it was a good day.  I did sleep in though with a 6 am rise.

I saw something this morning where I know people were trying to sell me something, so I did not go to the web site they wanted to take me to.  But I did agree in part with the line they had used to get me there.
“Discipline is more important than motivation.”  It is a theme I harp on in my life.  I feel both matter big time and one without the other goes nowhere.
Motivation to me matters a lot.  Not just motivation for motivations sake.  I want to avoid being motivated in my life and being on the ladder of success only to find the ladder is against the wrong wall.  I do not want to spend a life time pursuing something, only to find what I was pursuing was not the path I should have been on the whole time.  Though I do maintain it is better to change walls than to see out what was wrong for me.
Yet I know that motivation without disciple will only take me so far.  I have seen talented people get a certain distance on talent alone, but without associated disciple, it will never get a person as far as they can go.
Gout, Gout is getting a lot of publicity at the moment.  He s talented.  He has ability.  Yet without the discipline of training, it would never be known how far he could go.  Training often improves by the one percents.  Getting the starts right might improve a person by one percent.  Then in his case, running to maximise performance may be another one percent improvement.  Finally learning how to finish well may be another one percent.  Before a person knows it, there is a three percent improvement in performance.  Three percent can be the difference between good and great.
In my case I can be lacking in discipline, but I focus on my goal.  When I really want something, I will do what is needed to attain it.  I may have known weaknesses, but I refuse to let that stop me.  I ask for help and continue on knowing a particular problem area will be visited.  I make improvements in other areas and eventually the problem area is overwhelmed.
What matters to me is focusing on the goal.  If I give up because of one area I am having trouble with, then nothing is achieved or revealed.  If on the other hand I focus on the goal, ask for help and work on what is not too big for me I progress and continue to win.
I have experiences both giving up and pushing through.  For me pushing through is better every time.