I read a term that I am pleasantly surprised did not cause me to hurt myself.
“Positive Deconstruction.”  It is positive because it finds points of agreement while it deconstructs as it also finds points of difference.  In other words, it aims to start from points of agreement.  That tends to cause negotiators to be more open to discuss points of disagreement.
It had me thinking that is the way much negotiation is carried out.  Often it seems to me there is little hope of agreement being reached only to hear it has been.  So agreement is found between what appear to be polar opposites.  I think right now of the negotiations in Northern Ireland.  I was pleasantly surprised to hear there had been a coming together for a common purpose or goal of both sides involved.
To me it makes so much sense to approach matters this way.  As in any negotiation there must be a willingness from both sides to reach a mutually satisfactory conclusion.  If one party is unwilling, then to me negotiation is a waste of time.  Also there needs to be mutual trust.  If one party states something to get its way and reneges on what it agreed to, then it will be a case of “once bitten twice shy.”
But as long as those conditions are met it seems that often people are not as far apart as may be first though.
To some compromise is a dirty word.  Yet to me it is totally necessary.  Some things for sure are foundational and never up for negotiation.  But it is like a song I like a lot says, “some of them we must defend with everything we’ve got, some of them don’t matter much at all.”
It is amazing how many conversations I engage in where what does not matter is defended like it does.  But in the end, I always ask myself. “does this matter enough to keep us apart, or can enough common ground be found to bring us together?”
Where it is just my opinion which I know from experience can change, then I do not feel it is important enough to keep me from engaging with someone (who’s thoughts may be very different to mine, but who really wants the same thing as me.)
For sure to me it is a fine line, but vulnerability is always a risk.

I managed to avoid hurting myself yesterday by avoiding trying to think deep thoughts.  Not that thoughts did not happen.  No siree they were coming thick and fast.  I did manage to keep up with them though.  Thoughts like, “I will go here”  And it happened!  It seemed there was a link.
It was good to meet the wife of the builder yesterday.  We have had correspondence but she was here yesterday.  On her days off she sometimes assists hubby.  I asked what she does and she said “beauty therapist.”  I told her there was a Katrinna’s next to our church and it turns out she did her apprenticeship with Katrina’s.  They did say something like “that was a long time ago.” Me thinks, “live to 66 and long time ago does seem a long time ago.”  They were great.  There seems to be very little left to do now.
Merril went off banking and grocery shopping and I set up for our market today.  It meant putting up tables and getting out stuff that had been donated.  Some stuff was good and is ready for sale.  Other stuff I would not sell as it was damaged and not desirable.  I did have fun going through stuff.
We have a box of stuff Merril will take down today and go through.  Even while I was sorting things more stuff was added.  I normally have three tables but have four and two free cloths tables right now.   My thinking is it is Christmas and there is real value in getting some of this stuff at the price it is.
Anyway Merril returned from banking and shopping and we went home.  Someone was coming around to look at an item we had and were not using, that perhaps they could.  I then had a sleep.
The rest of the day was a bit of a blur.  Sorta like “on this spot in 2024 nothing happened.”  Fine by me.

​We have had a number of dramas and a few other things going on.  I have hardly mentioned the granny flat of late.
Our new kitchen has taken up a lot of our thoughts in recent times.  We had no place to put anything in the kitchen while the old one was demolished, and the stages of the new one were taking shape. That has changed now.
Merril went to hospital and the guy making the granny flat (cabin) also did.  When the guy doing the Cabin was ok again, he recommenced work.  Merril had had another stent put in her artery and I had ended up staying the night in hospital with her.
So the builder has been beavering away at the cabin and it is taking shape.  Once the concreting and some of the groundwork was done, I said to the guy “you must like this stage” (making it look pretty).  I was surprised at his answer.  He said something like, “I actually like working it all out and how to do it the best.”
Anyway Merril and I have been wandering in to have a sneak peek after the worker goes home each day.   It has been taking shape.  Recently giant strides were made in the bathroom/toilet area.  As were strides made in the washer/dryer area.
I must admit I have been very pleasantly surprised.  It is amazing - we live in a joint for more than 10 years and little changes - and then big changes happen.
Our goal with the granny flat has been to make it an independent living space.  Visitors can use it, and it contain all that is required.  I can actually see that our plans for the place are turning out as we had in mind.  We did not want it to be so pokey that anyone felt claustrophobic, and although there is seemingly a heap of stuff to go in there, it does not feel like it will feel spacious enough.
Its funny but I really feel like I am seeing what encouragement does.  Merril and I tell the builder we like what we are seeing, and he seems to go the second mile.  It is not finished yet but for sure so far so good.