This is a continuation of assume from yesterday.  There is a different emphasis.
The bottom line is basically to say what I mean and not to assume the hearer understands what I am saying.
I was reminded of a guy who wanted a Ferrari for his birthday.  Rather than tell his wife straight out what he wanted, he decided to give hints.  The opportunity arose for him when she asked, “what do you want for your birthday?”  Rather than tell her straight out what he wanted he coded it in the belief she would understand what he wanted.  He said, “I want something that goes from 0 to 100 in seconds.”   She nodded and said, “say no more.”  When he opened presents, she had given him a set of scales.
That is the danger of assuming someone understands.  I had someone do me a favour by cutting back some growth.  I had not conveyed what I wanted, and it was cut back to the point of looking like a desolate land.  I had not been clear.  At other times my dad and I discussed what needed doing and we were so glad we explored it fully.  We discovered we had totally different things in mind.
So often what needs to be said in love may seem harsh, but it is not and satisfaction is only gained when something is told as it needs to be.  Both are happy.  I had a situation like this recently and after saying it the response was, “that is exactly the way it is.”  I was hesitant at the start, and we both were glad at the end.
A true friend will say the way it is, rather than say what may be perceived as what is wanting to be heard.  A situation can only be dealt with when the truth of the matter is conveyed (so often it is how something is said, not what is said).
I am really hesitant with this one as I do not want anyone thinking I condone mouthing off.  I can think I know best, but I am wasting my time telling another if I have not earned the love and confidence of another.  What I say may be right, but I am wasting both our time if the way I say it is perceived – rightly or wrongly as judgemental.
But even when the time comes that the time and methodology is right, I need to be clear and ensure the message I am conveying is the message that is heard.

It was while I was still working in Townville and a lot of years ago.  I remember a guy saying, “never assume.”  It is funny that I remember that, but it has become my standard operating procedure.
When I write and state something I always check it out.  I have no desire to put anything down that I have not found to be true for myself. 
It does not matter to me how well meaning or trustworthy a person is, it is important to attempt to find out something for myself before I quote it.  Where possible I do that.  Some things get stated that I have no fool proof way of verifying.  In those instances I will consider the weight of evidence and the reputation of those holding a particular point of view.  I may have no way of verifying something for myself (for example scientific experiments perhaps using expensive equipment I do not have access to).
Even where I cannot prove something or otherwise, I need to be satisfied for myself that what I am saying is correct.  Otherwise I just do not say it.  I find it is better to leave something unsaid rather than go down a path evidence contradicts.
For me a counter argument needs to be evidence based.  Often the proponent simply has a disposition one way rather than proof that that way is correct.
Often in such situations I will remain silent.  There are those closed to any though to the contrary of their own.  Presenting a differing point of view is often a waste of time as nothing presented will change a persons perspective.
Again though I will not assume that is the case.   Each situation needs to be taken on its merits.  Some of life’s biggest surprises are light bulb moments. 

At last an ad about caring about animals that does not seem to try to elicit a response born of guilt.  So much of” care for animals” advertising includes words like “abandoned” and “cruel” and offers me a cuddly toy if I give.
I admit I am a bit of a cynic when it comes to many organizations that promote care for animals.  Naturally I imagine some are well meaning while others seem intent on promoting their agenda.
Caring for the environment is ultimately a “must do” thing but it is born of a “want to” thing.  Care to me not only includes cute cuddly animals but people too.  It is a balancing act and important for all.  Harmony does not mean “mono-culture” but “diversity” that sees both human and animal protected and prospering.
So I was really interested to see the latest ad from the Humane World for Animals (formally Humane Society).  It features a song by Peter Gabriel formerly of Genesis called “Solsbury Hill.”
To me it is no wonder they chose the song they did to promote their cause.  The song is very auto-biographical and represents a change in outlook for Peter.  The website https://lyricstories.com/song-meanings/solsbury-hill-lyrics-meaning says “At its core, “Solsbury Hill” is about a life-changing moment that forces someone to leave behind what’s familiar. The lyrics describe a realization so powerful that it can’t be ignored, even if it means stepping into the unknown.  Whether about Peter Gabriel’s departure from Genesis or something more universal, the song captures the struggle of making a big decision. It’s about trusting yourself, breaking free from expectations, and embracing a new path—even when it’s scary.”
Apart from what I have indicated above I share care but as noble as the sentiment may be, it is inadequate.  To me it is like changing the ladder only to find the new one is not fit for purpose.
To me for a start it requires the infinite break through into the finite.  I say for a start as it is my belief that not all infinite has my best intentions at heart.  But that is a whole other thing.   What is think is summarized in the words I find beautiful: When illusion spin her net / I'm never where I wanna be / And liberty, she pirouette / When I think that I am free
What I am seeing at the moment is a desperate attempt to put the world together but each process pulls it more apart.  Caring for all is innate.   The ability to do it requires I rely on more than finite resources. To me the words say it all though there are a couple of addresses that are home.  "… I've come to take you home"