It probably seems really whimpish, but it is definitely something I do not regret.  All my life I have shut my eyes when watching tele and I thought something gruesome was about to occur.  My reasoning was and still is that I do not what such images in my mind.
It is harder these days though as there seems to be a trend to spring fear or the worst on someone when it is least expected.  For years I could basically see it coming and prepare.  These days the worst can be thrust on me at any time and there seems to be a greater desire to shock.
I am watching less of a certain type of tele these days.  It seems immunity to fear requires stronger doses.  That comes as no surprise as it is so true in life that more is often required to produce the same.
I was really surprised to hear a lady comedian say she thought the day was coming when shows like “Big Brother” would see a contestant killed to maintain ratings.  In a sense that does not surprise.  I think the Roman games reached a killing point for shock value and to feed blood lust.
Anyway that is a round about way of writing about the undesirability of fear.  It is amazing to me that a site that presents no challenge to me in the light, seems sinister and an undesirable place to visit when dark.  This is not talking about common sense precautions but unreasonable fears.
There may be more but it seems to me there are at least two types of fear – real and imagined.  To me it is totally reasonable to be ready to combat someone or something wanting to do me harm.  It seems to me such fears can be overcome by preparedness.  That is to say, what could be a fear will not be called that if prepared.  I am not one to expect the worst, but I do believe in being prepared should the worst occur.
The other type of fear to me is that which is imagined.  To me there are three responses to such a thing.  Going with it.  That is looking for it and feeding off it.  I see that with some of the things terrorists are willing to publicly do.  They come as a shock to most.  There is the most common response which is a “will-power” response to fearful things.  Commonality though does not mean adequacy.  A look around seems to indicate that what is sufficient for some, is inadequate for others. 
Then there is a “his power” response.  I admit I do like that one.  I am one who willingly acknowledges that in myself there is inadequate strength to combat all that wants ill for me.  That is why I use “will power” knowing it is good (but inadequate) combined with “his power” to have a win.

I saw a heading recently and I saw it in a completely different way to what I normally see it.  It was “what you see is what you get.”  I normally think of that in terms of whatever is on display is what is available.  There will be no surprises.  No additions.
Yet this time I saw it as what I picture is what is possible.  Sorta like the old saying, “think you can, think you can’t - either way, you’ll be right.”
It was a great reminder to me that what I fill my mind or life with is what I attract.  If I always put myself down and insist I am no good then I am likely to pursue a self-fulfilling prophecy.  I have experienced it time and time again that circumstances work to make what I expect happen.
Of course this is not dealing with the things that come out of the blue but even then how I see myself and the world can effect the outcome of random events.  Often people do heroic things but rarely is it an act of total surprise and out of character.  Very often investigation shows that the perpetrator of the act had been heroic in mind many times previous and when the time came to be heroic in reality it was not an untrodden road.
It seems to be why many coaches encourage visualization these days.  I have seen it work.  Someone learns the right way to do something, muscle memory is practiced and winning is lived in the mind.  
That does not guarantee a win but it definitely increases the chances.  So often the difference between winning and losing is one percent.  It is the working on the one percents like picturing a win that encourages winning.
I will never forget that when Greg Norman was ahead in the US Open (I think it was).  It was considered there was no way his nearest rival could pull off the shot required to win.  Yet his caddy said to him “you can do this.  You have been here before.”  Winning is the goal kicker staying back after practice to practice goal kicking from all sorts of angles.  It is the golfer practicing shots from the rough or the bunker long after others may have retreated to more comfortable surroundings.
Greg Norman’s rival made the shot.  To me it was a shot that defied belief.  Yet he believed.  He had been there before both in practice and in his mind.
I happen to believe “what I see is what I get.”  That is why I am prepared to pray for, believe, imagine the best.  Maybe the best will not always result, but it can never be said I was not doing all I could to make it happen.

More than once I have had people apologise to me for asking hard questions.  To be honest though I have always liked being asked hard, honest questions.  I have not always known the answer but I have never been afraid of a question or shyed away for it because it was difficult or I was concerned I would not like the answer.
There was an article I read recently that was written by someone I would not normally read that I think stated something beautifully.  “That afternoon in the mountains did not suddenly replace one belief with another; it planted a question that refused to leave me. And questions, when they are honest, are not gentle. They disturb. They linger. They ask you to look again at things you once accepted without hesitation.”
I happen to believe there is a real freedom in letting go.  Gone are the days of clinging to something because it is the accepted given or because the lack of thought is convenient. There is no doubt in my mind that sometimes the questioning of what I have held to can be confronting.  That is particularly true when what I have held to I see contains flaws I can no longer honestly dismiss.
Being honest with myself can be embarrassing.  Again I reckon it was put beautifully by someone I was reading. “At first, I tried to hold on to what I had always believed. It is easier that way. There is a kind of comfort in certainty, even when that certainty is built on incomplete truths. But the story of [….] kept returning to me. Not as an argument, but as a presence. A simple, undeniable contradiction. And slowly, I realized that if I was serious about understanding the world, I could not ignore it.”
There is much I could highlight in what I read but there is only one other passage I would like to quote. “There were moments that stayed with me, not because they were dramatic, but because they were disarming.”
I love that.  To me the greatest freedom is found beyond the difficulty.  What may have been a hard truth becomes a hard fought truth that proves to be a firm foundation of life and of living.