There are the word of a song I like to quote, “Every man has his beliefs, his own point of view, on everything from big to small / Some of them we must defend with everything we’ve got, some of them don’t matter much at all”
I have been thinking of that in relation to love.  So often it does not seem it is the big things that wreck a relationship but a lot of little things.  An accumulation of unyielding.
I was listening to someone talk about a disagreement they were having with another.  They were right and they knew it.  In the midst of it, they suddenly realized that one can be right but wrong.
By that I mean I so often stand resolute knowing I am right when being right or wrong is actually less important than the relationship.  For sure things that matter are worth standing for, but much does not really matter.  Like is the sky blue or grey?  Is it better to have Wheaties for breakfast or bacon and eggs.
I need to ask myself does the answer to that matter more than my friendship?  Is it a matter worth parting ways over?
In such situations I think I need to yield.  I will share my opinion if asked, and it indeed may present a better lifestyle option.  But I need to be welcome into another’s world to be asked in the first place.
It is the accumulation of these issues without a yielding that often drives in a wedge.  Then when big things come up there is no example of considering another’s point of view and it becomes the straw that broke the camel’s back.
It is a big one and a rubber meets the road thing. I know I have been practicing the yielding in a group that comes here.  One person I so often do not agree with, yet they matter more to me than if I am right or wrong.  Acceptance is more than begrudging, but making them feel special.
People matter.  Any relationship involves give and take.  In matters that do not really matter, being together is more important than being seen to be right.  So often yielding  concerning things that do not really matter, opens a later door for things that really do.

Well yesterday we did something we have not done in ages.  Worked two days in a row.
We are getting ready to lay a new floor area in the bbq area. Sounds simple enough. But there have been heaps of things we have needed to do before we could make it happen.  The biggest things in my mind were to remove large pot plants and the biggest of all was to remove a cupboard and replace it with a set of shelves.
The thing was, where to put the cupboard.  We decided the car port was a good spot for it.  And it is.  But we needed to tidy up and rearrange the car port to put the cupboard in there.  I did quiet enjoy tidying up and rearranging the car port.
Once it was all set we could move the cupboard.  I emptied it out completely including the shelves.  That made it lighter.  We then manoeuvred it onto a trolly and positioned it in the shed.  I had already emptied and moved a set of shelves in the shed to make room.
It turned out to be easier than I imagined.  It was actually pretty good.  A few days earlier I had emptied a bookcase we have that is huge and heavy.  We had manoeuvred it down the front and put a give away sign on it.  We really hoped it would be taken as it would need to be broken up to take to the dump.  It did not help that it rained that night.
But we had a pray about it.  Low and behold it was taken.  We don’t know who took it and really we don’t care.  It was gone.
The heaviest pot I rolled into a new place.  I did the same with the other pots but they were lighter and one I carried some of the way.  Other pots were easier to move and so were the gas bottles for the bbq.  We have a nice table we moved to the bbq area.
We did that one day then worked in the garden the next.  I was bone weary but that is par for the course these days when I exert myself.
A lot of what we have done has been done to make moving everything in the bbq area easier when we lay new flooring.  In our minds eye it will all be worth it.

For someone who has not given much regard to the passing of a year and the birth of a new one, I am thinking a lot about time related matters at the moment.
It occurred to me recently that a life portrayal is so often just a highlights package.  What gets failed to be mentioned is the “in between” times.  The weeks, months, and years it takes for someone to become what they become and do what they do.
I was thinking about the highlights in my life.  There were personal achievements like passing grade 12, getting a diploma, leading an organization, working to achieve a goal at work.  Yet to me these highlights matter less than the people highlights.  Getting together with friends for state of origin, making a difference for the better in another’s life, sharing an experience with others.
Most books are written highlighting the highlights.  I do not necessarily think that is a bad thing. I like most want to “get to the good bit.”  But I think it is the “in between” times that determine the highlights.
It is a well-worn cliché that no one on their death bed ever wished they had spent more time at the office.  It is the people highlights that matter most.  Spending time with the kids or wife or others.  So often it is thought of as an either/or.  Yet it is not.  A balanced life balances family, others and career.
At the end of the day it is what I do with the “in between” times that determines the highlights.  I can live for myself, and the highlights can be personal achievements gained by spending most of my “in between” times achieving  to the benefit of myself and maybe my bottom line.  Or I can live for others.  But I do not believe it is a matter of either/or.
To me good “in between” times that are not based on either/or but both, make the highlight package so much better.