There is no doubt in my mind, my world changed for me when I had the stroke.  I guess I take solace in the fact it was brought on by the cutting of an artery to get to a mass that had been found in my brain.
It seems weird to be thankful for something in those circumstances, but I often say if a person is to have a mass in the brain, that is the place to have it.  I say that because people often die from masses in the brain.  Mine was at the back and could be gotten to.
Poor Merril had been told I would never walk again, and I would be dead in six months.  I have a walker and wheelchair that fortunately sit idle.  Having said that, I do fight fears I never knew existed.  Things are a battle that were easy peasy and I never thought about.
One thing I know it has shown me though is how I take so much for granted that really is a gift.  In an instant, life changed and my world was turned upside down.
One thing I am glad of, is growing up knowing someone has my back, believing in the best in myself and promoting the best in others.  I am thankful that it is not a “woe is me” thing but a “get on with it” thing.  It would be so easy to bemoan what I have lost, and to miss what I still have.
For a start it could have been way worse than it is.  I often liken it to a guitar that now has four strings rather than six.  The thing to me is a beautiful melody can be produced on four strings.
I appreciate those with disabilities (or should I say other abilities) are being catered for right now.  I do think the days where it is are coming to an end.
Still my outlook is not built on what is promoted as acceptable in some quarters, but what is acceptable in what many regard as unacceptable.
To me hope is not solely the domain of the apparently altogether, but also the domain of the  down and out – the overlooked.  No matter how long suffering in a lifetime is, a lifetime is but a blip in time and eternity.  My anchor lies there, and not in what will not last.

Yesterday was mostly a quiet day at home. 
The kitchen is awaiting the splash back, stone top and sink, so we have improvised using the tops from the previous kitchen (we have kept them for the granny flat (cabin).
I actually hung a picture doing measurements from the exposed beams in the cabin.  I wanted to drill in the right place and wonder of wonders it worked.
I also lifted some stuff into the house that had been removed from the kitchen while we got the new one.  Two boxes were severely wet and I needed to transfer stuff from them to other containers.  One box was obviously “that draw” that everyone seems to have, full of a mishmash of implements.  Merril made sense of them and put them away in a tidily fashion.  I’m impressed.
The place feels more liveable these days, but I know there is a ways to go.  Once all is competed there is stuff from the change to set up elsewhere.  I feel like I have my work cut out for me for a number of months.
We did need a few things so Merril and I went and got them.  Basically bread and butter, cordial and the like.
I think we will be having a couple of quiet days while we let what has been done to Merril’s artery settle.  Not that that is easy.  But I am not as excited as Merril about a new kitchen.  It’s nice and we are pleased, but we both know it is a means to an end rather than an end in itself.
What I am more excited about is the completion of the granny flat (cabin) when it happens.  Again it is a means to an end only, but it will be nice to have a set up for visitors.
In the meantime we are biding our time.  We do what we see we need to do, but the pace is slower than normal.

It is not dictionary day, but I have a word I want to explore more.  Intentionality.  It was actually something I heard yesterday and thought I want to think about that more, - and what better way to think about it then to write about it!
I did look up the meaning of the word but I confess Wikipedia was no help at all.  Its first sentence in trying to attract me to the site was, “A central issue for theories of intentionality has been the problem of intentional inexistence: to determine the ontological status of the entities which are the objects of intentional states.”  They lost me.
What I mean when I talk about intentionality is “the intent to do something I know will produce positive results rather than to stay in negativity.”
The example I think of is when my mum passed away.  I grieved.  That to me is natural and right.  In matters like this grieving is a part of the healing process.  But I do think there is a point (and I imagine it differs for everyone) where grief becomes a noose rather than a liberator.  I had leave entitlements which allowed me to do what I needed to do in saying goodbye to mum.
There was a time when that had happened, but I still had more leave.  That to me was when intentionality came into it.  I chose to go back to work and deal with matters beyond myself rather than stay home and wallow.
They say one of the most healthy things one can do is to pursue an activity that removes attention off myself and onto others.  It has to be done at the right time.  To early and grief is not dealt with (for me it remains a heart ache but not a showstopping heart ache).  Too late and opportunities pass me by, and grief becomes an open sore that refuses to heal.
For me intentionality has life applications.  Sometimes it matters not how I feel, doing what is right and best and takes my attention away from myself is the best thing I can do. 
I find more often than not when I move my attention from myself to others, somehow my needs are met.  I may not know how that works, but I am glad it does.
To me it all starts with the intentionality.