​Dependable
I said there were several things in the email from James Clear I thought I may touch on.  Little did I know that one day later I would be referring again to the email.
“You can carve out a very good career simply by being the most reliable person on the team. You would not think that always showing up on time, hitting every deadline, and responding quickly and professionally to all communication would be such a differentiator, but these traits are always in short supply.”
This is the difference between ability and reliability.  As long as a person shows some aptitude and a willingness to learn, I will choose reliability over ability every day.  Someone may be highly skilled at a task but unmotivated.  Another person may be average but wiling to learn.  That is the person I want.
There was someone I employed and the first day I thought “what have I done?”  But that person showed aptitude and a willingness to learn and was someone I would choose to work with me every time.  I know I was not alone in being impress by the work ethic, as the person was being head hunted while with me.
The above quote gives the impression of perfection.  In my experience that is never the case.  To me it is the willingness to learn from mistakes that is the difference (though I did see a cartoon where a kid said, “if I learn from my mistakes shouldn’t I make as many as possible?” “errr no kid.”
For me attitude makes the difference.  Someone does not need to be right every time but to want to and actively work towards being right every time.  To me it is about owning a task – about doing a good job not just to impress another but to impress themselves.
I find it easy to spot the difference between someone who cares and someone who simply does a task because they are told to and would rather being doing what they want to do.
I will never pretend that doing the right thing and having the right attitude is always easy, but I do know it is always worth it.

I received the James Clear email this morning.  There were a number of things I read that stood out to me.  There is a good chance I will talk about a number of them down the track.
But the one that meant most to me today was, “it's nice to have a little help, but we often resent when someone else tries to do it all for us. Each individual wants to make their own dreams a reality. If someone hands you the whole thing on a silver platter, they gift you the result, but rob you of the accomplishment.
Remember this not only when chasing your dreams, but also when supporting others. Help along the way, but let them run their own race. Your job is to live life with them, not live their life for them."
I particularly like, “they gift you the result, but rob you of the accomplishment” and “Your job is to live life with them, not live their life for them.”
I was reminded of animals in an egg (like a bird).  It is understood that really the worst thing I can do is assist the bird to get out of the egg.  Strength is developed in the breaking of the egg.  My intervention may cause the bird to be weak and it may even die.
It is important I have a hands-off policy.  I may want to help, and I may feel for the bird as it struggles to get out of the shell.  Yet despite how I feel, what it goes through is best for it.  I can assist from afar.  I can give sought after aid if I so feel, but my job is to live with, not for another.
I personally feel that is one of the hardest things to do.  Often I feel I know best what may be best for another.  I try to make it happen.  And in the trying often resentment or estrangement results.  My intentions may be good, but each finds their own way and in the process receives the strength they need.
I can help from afar.  I can be ready to aid at a moment’s notice.  But it is never my job to do something for someone instead of them doing what is needed for themselves.
There is no doubt that seeing another come through something difficult is cause for joy from me.  When I let them do it, it is cause for joy for both of us.  But if I do it for them, I alone appreciate it and the other person can disregard my efforts until done for themselves.

There are times I write about stuff I want to think through further.  The title today was born of experiences I had and what I endeavour to do these days.  Some things are born of bitter (for want of a better word) experience.  That is, I did it wrong and now do it differently.  Some things I seem to have gotten right based on what seemed right.
One thing I have found is that apart from what we call a “pleasant surprise” most people do not like to be surprised.
I feel is totally unfair of me is to give a matter a lot of thought and then spring it on others asking them to agree.  Sometimes what is proposed is easy and straightforward and a decision can be made quickly. At other times people need time to come to their own conclusions. 
One thing I did find was that often when other thoughts are added, a better solution presents itself.  Solutions may be the same as proposed, but other thoughts are added, and the solution becomes more complete.  That always gives a sense of ownership.
Another thing I realize is that not everyone sees the world as I see it.  A classic example for me was a few years ago someone asking that I change something.  Without me realizing it, the words I had used could have a different connotation for someone else, and I did not realize it.  This sort of thing classically happens when using my words in another culture.  What I say can mean something totally different to another.
I really have no problem changing the way I word something without changing its intention.  It is really why when writing something, I use the most general words possible. It seems counter productive to me to use complicated words that restrict who gets what is being said.  Better in my mind to have as many as possible understand, rather than a few.
My experience is that it is better to telegraph intentions (in many situations) and to give others time to absorb a matter and perhaps add their own take.  What I like about this is it gives a sense of ownership rather than ruling by decree. 
There is a time for everything but often it is not the time for decree but for consultation.