Yes and No

​I really do not think it is helpful to me or anyone if I am someone who cannot be relied on. If I am someone who says I will do something and then does not do it.
I guess it is a key thing for me. It is very frustrating to have another say they will do something, and I leave it go thinking all is under control, only to find it does not happen. There are legitimate reasons and those to me are blips rather than attitude. No one I know of can help being genuinely sick, or having circumstances conspire to make the commitment not possible.
I had that happen recently. I had committed to be involved in something for the season, and I fully intended for that to happen. At the start all was going well. But things happened. Big things. Things I just had to attend to. So as much as I wanted to fulfil my commitment, I just felt there were other things happening that I could not not attend to. I ended up pulling out as I felt I was not being fair on anyone by saying yes when so often it was no.
I have had it happen to me. People have said they would and then had a change of heart. I have been in agreement that an alternate course of action was necessary. I have also had the other happen when someone unexpectedly and without warning was unavailable after saying they were available, and I only found out late in the piece. That is bit hard. As they say, “once bitten twice shy.”
Decades ago I did the same thing and I remember it to this day. I guess I remember the event so clearly as I felt the weight of it. We all make mistakes and I guess it is learning from them that counts.
My mistake was I said I would do something and for a little while I did. Then I gave it away. I will never forget the response of the fellow in charge. I cannot blame him.
When standing on say a chair, I check its reliability first. It is so bad to stand on something and have it give way. I prefer to know before I go there if something is going to be fit for purpose. When it is not, and I know it I can make other arrangements. It is when I do not know I can come a cropper.
From the experience decades ago, I learned big time. There are even times since I have regretted making a commitment, but I have followed through. It means more to me that I have a reliable reputation than having my way when it is built only on a whim or emotions like “I just do not feel like it today.” It is true that in every case there are times I do not feel like it, but to me a commitment is a commitment.
I know it can be frustrating for some, but I am much slower to commit these days. I like to look at things from different angles. Where I feel to do something, I will commit myself to it. At other times it is a big no. Saying no is definitely hard but it seems to me that sometimes it is best for everyone.