Words

I must admit I really like this.  It is taken directly from the site https://thrivingmarriages.com  I am amazed at the power of words.  So often they can belittle, but it seems to me I can do the opposite.  It tends to blow people away as they are not used to it.  Using my words to build someone up.  It is a radical thought I know.
It seems to me that such things are habitual.  They take practice and persistence.  I fail.  I pull down.  I try to make myself look good (I give it a go anyway).  To me, highlighting bad stuff seems to be easier that pointing out good qualities.  I prefer to point to the good stuff rather than the bad stuff – make people feel good rather than feel bad.  Everyone has faults, but mostly I know mine and I can do without reminding of my short comings.  What I want is a way out, not a reminder of the quagmire I am in.
Anyway this guy is talking about marriages, but for me it is applicable in every situation.
Not long ago, I was around thousands of people in different environments, watching a multi-day volleyball tournament, visiting attractions and theme parks. I’m a people-watcher by nature and having opportunity to sit closely with people, wait in lines, and gather in crowds, I had lots of time to observe others.
Boiling down my observations into two categories, here’s what I noticed most:
1) Spouses saying unkind things to one another, and
2) Parents verbally belittling their children.
I’m sure these observations don’t reveal anything new or surprising, but they occurred so frequently that I couldn’t escape noticing. People can be quite nasty to one another. And words hurt.
Since it doesn’t take intelligence to be critical, let me suggest one relational principle that has helped me, I realize that this is easier said than done, but it is as simple as this: don’t say everything you think!
I understand that holding your tongue takes self-control and a degree of humility, but the results are amazing! When someone triggers an emotion in you and you want to react with a verbal dagger…don’t. When someone injures your pride and you want to say something that will be a zinger comeback and put the other person in his or her place…don’t. When someone exhausts your patience and a strong reaction will make you feel better…don’t. Words hurt, and are never worth it.
As a spouse and parent, I’ve learned that I don’t need to say everything that I think. When I slip up and allow the statements to escape my mouth, I end up wounding others, triggering more reactions, demeaning those I love, heightening tension levels, and create negative memories.
Words are always powerful. But misguided words hurt and they hurt deeply. Using reckless words is like stabbing another with a sword. In almost every instance, it’s best to keep the sword in its scabbard.