Word

Someone said “cancer is not a sentence, it’s a word.”  I really like that.
I have seen people go with cancer and I am not happy Jan.  What matters most to me is if I will see them again.  If I believe I will, then I am sad and happy. It is so weird to be both, but I have found it is possible.
I sure resent people being snatched out of my life.  All my plans with them are void.  With one friend who went, I had some of the best musical experiences of my life.  Another friend was so down to earth and profound at the same time.  Before I knew it, both were gone.
I miss them so much.  Yet I do not feel I have said “good bye” but only “so long.”  It sure is not the way I would have done things, but then, do I know best really?  Personally, I have my doubts.  The best I can do is be thankful for the times had.  Easier said than done for sure.
Again I have found it is easier said than done, but I do try to live my life appreciating everyone that comes into it.  Certainly sometimes I ask myself “why?”, but in all cases I am the better for it. Someone said “mine is not to reason why, mine is but to do or die.”  To me it is noble, but it is not me.  I am not afraid of questions.  In fact I thrive on them. 
I have found though, for some a question is only an opportunity for confrontation rather than consideration.  When I believe that is the case, I will not go there.  I am weird I know, but I consider it better to keep the peace than to destroy it when I consider it un-necessary.
I watched a guy being interviewed on the ABC’s One plus One.  He was a famous play wright who had been struck down with a debilitating disease that left him in a wheel chair.  He was asked what has changed for him.  His answer was that he was now more aware of others in wheel chairs!
I have had a stroke.  I sure don’t like it.  I am not who I was that is for sure.  However, it is the hand I have been dealt. I know I have a choice.  I can either wallow and be resentful, or go in a new direction.  It is not easy, but I choose the latter.
I have probably said it often, as I know I have thought it often – hindsight is a great teacher.  I did not know what was around the corner.  Dean Mercer who went at 30 something did not know either.  The best I can do is be like a good boy scout and be prepared.
After all, stroke is not a sentence, it is a word