Which

​Hmmmm.  I really do not know that this is such a good idea.  I was wondering what to write about.  I thought I came up with a clever plan.  I thought “I know, I’ll go to a dictionary and open it and write about the first word I see.”
The first word I saw was “which.”
It is not supposed to, but that seemed to immediately limit my options.  I could go into it being a pronoun and all, but I would be a total phony.  Grammar was never a strong point of mine.    Besides, if a dictionary is wrong, how do I know? 
I could string a sentence together, but I really had no idea of its grammatical make up.  The words just seemed to fit together somehow.  I am glad there are people that get off on such things.  I am just not one of them.
Besides, “which” just seems to highlight choice and my mind goes immediately to the supermarket.  There are so many types of the same thing.  “Which” one?  In that matter I would be better if I did not have a choice.  If there were just one, then for sure that is the one I would pick.  That would have to be better than staff turning off the lights ready to go home, while I stood in front of the shelves trying to make up my mind.
Please do not tell anyone as I am really embarrassed.  A question on a paper was once “a donkey is standing exactly in the middle of two straw piles.  Does he A) just go to one as hunger drives him or B) die, not being able to make up his mind.”  I put B and it was wrong.  On that basis if no-one checked, a skeleton would be found in front of the shelves.
I am an advocate of choice in most things as it seems to keep people honest and on their toes.  Nothing like a bit of competition to improve value.  It is just choice on supermarket shelves that is my problem.  I reckon they could save a heap of space if there were less choice.  It would make the shopping experience quicker too.
I used to wonder why I went grey so early.  I know now.  It was the choices at the supermarket.  No wonder the ad says “I just want milk that tastes like real milk.”  I don’t think that is too much to ask.  It is not like I am presenting a problem that requires a blackboard full of formulas to solve. 
I don’t want to look like a rabbit in the headlights in a supermarket.  That is not the image I want to portray.  I want to appear confident.  In control.  A startled expression is not the look I am going for.  Wanting to high five everyone when I escape the clutches of the supermarket doesn’t seem right.
They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.  I must be pretty strong.  I have lived to tell the story of multiple visits to the supermarket.  Now if I can just get “which” removed from the dictionary, the supermarkets would have no choice, and that would make life way easier for me.