Where to from Here

​Where To From Here?
I’ve had some wins and I’ve had some loses.  Sometimes my score seems insurmountable.  Sometimes my insurmountable score is reigned in.  I have known good times and I have known bad times.  Some days I never want to end, and some days I wish would end.
I am dependant on others and then find my independence.  Then others are depending on me.  Then I depend on others again.
I am not immune to what life dishes out.  Some things I handle well.  Other things I do not.  I make a name for myself, and my name is forgotten as others make names for themselves.  The cycle continues.
To me one thing is more important than any other.  Relationships.  I can be measured by the things I achieve, the systems I improve, the impact I make.  But all is meaningless to those that matter if I forget to include them in my victories.  Those I love, need to be a part of the journey, rather then just being there at the end of the journey.
Achieving things alone need not be a lonely place.  Are the accolades of others, from those with me, or despite me?  When my head hits the pillow at night and I am alone, are those with me actually with me, or mere players in my game?  As Valeria Mazza said, “What's important is how you are, not how you look.”
I do not want others to be mere players in my game.  I want those that are with me to contribute in a good way to who I am.  And I want to contribute to who they are.  Not in words only but in deeds.  To have my actions speak.  To have differences bring together rather than separate.  To appreciate that differences are a chance to grow rather than root up.  To be aware that what attracted still attracts, though it chances.
Hindsight may be a great teacher, but only if it teaches what is important.  Sometimes what it teaches is a big thing, and sometimes it is a little thing.  But many little things always make up a big thing.
I want to be real.  To be authentic.  To be one others willingly come to knowing they will get a fair hearing and a shoulder to lean on if necessary.  One who will genuinely rejoice with another in their victories, rather than secretly resenting it and wishing it were me.
Good aspirations are good, not necessarily easy, but worth it.  I would definitely rather fail in the attempt to achieve something great, than to achieve something mediocre.
In my mind I have definitely come to the right place.  I would rather be a river than a lake.  My lifetime extends beyond my time in this body.  Where to from here is up to me.