What Just Happened Here?

It must have been a moment of sanity.  I have a number of sayings I have heard or read in recent times in a word file.  I was going through them and came across one I really like.  “It is not how big the thing outside is, but how big the thing inside is.”
The reason I like that is bad stuff happens.  It is undeniable.  Stuff I struggle to understand.  Stuff that knocks me for a six.
Yet if what is on the inside of me is bigger than what comes my way, my response will be one of hope.  No doubt initially it is “what just happened here?” and “why?”  That initial feeling to me is legitimate and understandable. 
It is what comes next that matters in my mind. I am not one for pretense.  I know I miss it often.  Thankfully it does not end there.  For me it is a response that gives way to hope.  I am pretty sure I have mentioned it before, but I love the illustration.  So often my responses are like an eclipse.  The planet behind is my natural and first up response.  Frustration.  Anger.  Questioning.  The planet in front is where I end up.  For me it is trust.  It could easily be anger.  Revenge.  Biding my time and lashing out.
That is why I am big on what is on the inside.  What is there determines where I go.  To me it is no use pretending.  What is inside will come out.  It seems to me there is a cloak of decency over much of society which is discarded when restraint is missing.
I really feel the step I have taken in faith is a first step.  An import one.  One which gives me access to all I need.  But I am a work in progress.  Sometimes (and more and more) I have a win.  Sometimes I blow it big time.
Aspiration is what matters to me.  I will come running to assist (where I can) good aspirations every time.  Missing it  is not the end of the story but a part of it.