Walk Across the Room

​Walk Across the Room
I reckon it is one of the hardest things I have ever done.  Gone to something where I was unknown.  If someone talks to me, I feel a sense of belonging.  If not, I leave fairly quickly.
I am a pretty outgoing person.  I will generally strike up a conversation with someone.  But that is not always the case.  There are times I just clam up.  Reminds me of Play School “one of these things is not like the other.”  In this instance that is me.
That can go on to the point where I feel I am invisible.  Mostly others are known to each other.  They spend their time relating to one another and unless I make an effort or someone else does, I remain an oddity.
As I say I am mostly different, and I guess that is sometimes how I break into a circle.  One thing I have found is, it is pretty easy to get people to accept me.  I just get them talking about themselves.  Most people get off on that, and sometimes think I am a real good guy, and all I have done is to have them talk about their favourite subject.  Themselves.
Just as well I am genuine because most people can see straight through non-genuine.  There is a difference between just making conversation and taking a genuine interest in someone.
I guess it all has to do with making a connection.  I can be incredibly pleased when I happen on to someone who shares my interests.  They are not only interested but they understand.  Both matter a lot, but I am definitely more likely to gravitate to someone who is on a similar wavelength to me.
But all that remains the great unknown when I stand out like a knot on a log.  Someone has to make the effort to include me.  I know that when I am in a group and someone new appears it is in my nature to walk across the room and get to know them.  It may be after a brief conversation I know someone else who can relate to them better.  Their interests mesh better. 
For there to be a group, inclusion must have occurred at some point.  But often groups become insular.  The decision may not be a conscience one, but it has been decided that this is enough, and new people are made to feel excluded and unwelcome.  I decide at that point I do not want to be involved in a group that is exclusive.
I know for some, talking to people is not easy.  It mostly is for me.  In one place I was involved I made a point of finding all those interested in photography.  I was amazed who was.  I came across some really good photographers including one fellow who used to photograph weddings in NZ.  I have seen some of his work and it is outstanding.
I will never try to get someone to reveal what they do not want to though.  At one other place I was involved, the response to me was “so many questions” and walking away.  My intention was totally misunderstood, and I felt he had something he wanted to hide.  But I reckon his problem, not mine.
But for me to want to stay someone needs to walk across the room.  While I will sometimes do that myself it is not a given.  Someone making the effort makes it easier for me.  Success is better than failure but just making the effort is success.