Vulnerable

Lately the word “vulnerable” has loomed large in my thinking.  When that happens, I like to look into the word and explore the concept.
It is from the Latin “vulnus” which means wound and was first used in English in the early 17th century.  These days it refers to a couple of things. “exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally:” “(of a person) in need of special care, support, or protection because of age, disability, or risk of abuse or neglect:”
I reckon the best I can do is to maintain a realistic self-assessment.  It is good ,right, and proper I think to derive satisfaction from what I do.  Doing the best I can matters.  Having a realistic sense of self-worth matters.  Yet if the tumour taught me anything is that all I have and all I am, can be gone in an instant.  I was wheeled in one way and came out another.
It occurs to me that so much of what I do is to lessen vulnerability.  I take out insurance to lessen my vulnerability to unexpected events.  I get a car to lessen my vulnerability to isolation.  I eat healthy to lessen my vulnerability to disease.  To me I do all this rightly so.  Yet it remains a fact that all I have and all I do could be gone in an instant.  What I do shores up it does not guarantee.
I feel self-worth is a good thing but to me it is a good thing gone bad if I exalt myself and act as if I am above fallibility.  I know I had no control over arriving here or where I am.  I reckon I would be foolish to think I can influence events beyond the grave.  My thoughts and idea can influence, but I as a person cannot.  In my thinking it is the role of all here to influence the lives of others (hopefully for good)
It may look like some have it all together while others are vulnerable and need my help.  Yet all really are vulnerable.  Maybe some do not know it and some do not admit it. But if history teaches us one thing is that we all come and go.  My light may shine brightly for a time but the batteries will run out (but thankfully when these ones run out, I get another lot that will never run out).
It may sound like an oxymoron but vulnerability is a firm foundation.  I am not master of the universe.  I need to get over it.