Voices

Going by the Google headings I need to be careful writing about this one.  Every heading assumed a problem.  “Hearing Voices and Mental Illness,” “Hearing Voices: Kids Helpline,” “Hearing Voices: Mental Health Foundation.”
But I reckon there is another side to hearing voices.  Anyone who is not deaf hears them.  That is one of the things ears are for.  Seems to me it is a good thing I can hear voices.
I know there is a school of thought that says talk softly so people strain to hear and hang on your every word.  But I see that regularly taken too far.  I will not agree or disagree with someone if I cannot hear them.  If I am patient, I make the effort.  If not, I will wait and move on.  Especially if I tell someone and get told I have the problem.  In that case I get the feedback of others.  If I am not alone the problem is more than mine.
But believe it or not, one of the symptoms of a stroke is taking too softly.  Time and again people say, “I beg your pardon” and I need to repeat something louder.  People that have had a stroke fail to realize the volume of their voice has become lower.
But this morning I was pondering a voice in my head that is common to all.  It tells me I am no good.  It reminds me of past failures and questions the thought that anything will ever be any different.
This really shows how old I am.  A group I listened to in the early 1980’s had a song I liked which started “I hear many voices inside of me.”   I just looked them up on Spotify.  I was pleasantly surprised to see the album was re-released in 2013.  I have just added that song to my playlist.
The point for me is, I, like everyone, hear voices.  Deaf or not everyone has an internal dialogue.  There are definitely voices that will bring me down.  But there are also those that will build me up.  I need to choose which voices I listen to.
For me though it can be really hard.  The voices that pull down can be incredibly insistent.  It is like the old cartoon used to depict, a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.  I do not know how others find it, but for me the devil one is definitely not a gentleman.  He talks loud and often.  He will think nothing of talking over the other one and will not go without a fight.
There are definitely things that help.  I remember going for a run once and having it “clear the head.”  There are other techniques used to silence negative voices.  Many I find useful and will use, but a question remains.  Are finite solutions useful for the infinite?  I am just like that.  If two things are on offer, I go for the infinite one.  I just ask myself why accept something good for the here and now, when something else if on offer that is good for the here and now and the then?  The latter one is the one I will go for every time.
I am not a “pull yourself up by the boot-straps” man.  I know I need help.  I look for a cure rather than having something managed.  A voice may not go without a fight, but I fight back.