Voices

​“Everybody knows, that the hardest war to fight, is the fight to be yourself, when the voices try to turn you into someone else.”  For me the jury is still out on “everybody knows.” 
It seems for some the voices are the guiding voice.  Actions are determined by what the voices say.  It is not necessarily a third person spooky voice, but a familiar voice.  One that has been listened to and acted on regularly.  It is not necessarily a case of “should I or shouldn’t I?”  It is the voice that knows the response as “I should.”
For others the voices cause consternation.  They hound.  They cajole.  The only way to peace is to obey the voices to get some reprieve.  What is unseen is how destructive the voices are.  When the smoke clears there is less.  Always there is less.  Never do the voices make things better.  It is always worse.  The only good thing is that the voices have gone for the moment.  For sure though they will be back.  It is sometimes not obvious.  It can be like a chess game where so many pieces are lost before the final check mate.
There are voices that speak to me.  It is never an announcement to help me make a good decision.  It is more like the cartoon we see with a figure on one shoulder and one on the other.  It is war when a weakness is targeted.  I may be wanting to do something I know is good for me and others.  It may be new to me.  Often, I have acted in a certain way for years and the inclination to go that way is particularly strong.
My experience is there may be a solitary quiet voice suggesting something is good to do.  There is another voice providing heaps of reasons why it is not a good idea.  I may look stupid (what’s new, I hear you ask).  It may not be expected.  It may be out of character.  Many others may not understand.  Inertia is easier.  There can be a multitude of reasons not to do something, and only one to do it.  Yet the one is the one.
Acting in a new or different way is foreign to me.  My choice is to follow familiar paths or forge a new one.  Until it is habitual it is hard work.  That is where I get the help I need.
Whatever voice I choose to follow it is always my choice.  Though often it is not hard to follow a right voice for me.  I look at the day and it is beautiful.  I see our marriage and home and I like what I see.  I have good friends and a sense of belonging.  Being thankful is not difficult and is always right.
Voices get a bad rap.  Many deservedly so.  The voice of my conscience does not deserve a bad rap.  That is the one I want to choose to follow.  No doubt though, it will be an adventure.