Understand

There is an older guy at table tennis who, whenever it is his turn to play goes to the loo first.  This can be frustrating, but from my understanding, they have two minutes to be on the court ready to play.
The reason I thought of that is it occurred to me I can never understand unless I understand.  He, like me, does not ask to play by a different set of rules, it is just he needs to act a little differently from what normally happens, to do it.
The way I act may cause others to think and say “Kuskie, get your act together.”  There may be a better way of doing something than the way I do it, and I need to hear about it.  The thing is, the way I act may be borne out of necessity.  Those who’s heart is in something, and are not playing mind games, generally try to do the right thing.  If it is the right thing and falls within the rules, then my complaint can only be about difference rather than contravention.
We had a girl come to the club a number of years back who had real balance issues.  We had to watch her like a hawk.  She only came the once.  Maybe she decided she was more suited to a different activity.  Her being a regular would have necessitated us doing something that was not so labour intensive for us.  But my thinking is, good on her.  She gave it a go.  She refused to listen to “you can’t” and instead listened to “I’m going to give it a go.”  She gave it a go and moved on.  In one way I was relieved.
We had another guy in the club that was intellectually challenged.  His carer would bring him.  He no longer comes as family decided they knew best.  But boy did he love table tennis.  Even when he lost he won.  Within the confines of what we could do we made it great for him.  In my mind is an image of him with his hands in the air celebrating one time we got him a birthday cake.
The thing is, how can I understand without walking in his shoes?  It does not mean I need to be a certain way to relate.  I have however seen time and again that the best one to relate to someone is someone who is the same.  It does not mean that my relating is totally ineffective and a waste of time, but it is more buckshot in nature.  That is, I say and do a lot and hope something hits the mark.
I have found a person does not know if they do not know.  Once they know, they have a responsibility (according to the law though, ignorance is no excuse).  It seems it does not matter what a person is involved in, they need to play by the designated rules.  As long as they do that then the way they act might be different to what is normally done, but I may not understand as I do not understand.