Unconditional Love

I was wondering what to write about this morning and what is probably my favourite topic came up again.  Love.
It probably has something to do with what some would consider religious but to me it is rubber meets the road stuff.  There is something that says something like, “how can you say you love God and hate your brother?”
I can hate things done (though admittedly I have trouble with that word as it is so strongly negative), but I cannot hate the doer.  Apart from children I do not think it is my place to “face to face” try and change behaviour.
I guess I am thinking about it a bit because I see so much of it.  I only ever see one outcome.  Failure.  It seems to invariably lead to estrangement.  To me, it is only when people know they are unconditionally loved that they open up.
I just know it is that way for me. When I feel love for me is dependant on some behaviour I will clamp up and avoid confrontation.  It does not mean there is nothing to be confronted, but I feel it is something for me to work out, and not something for someone else to lay on me.
Naturally I want the best for another always and will, if given the opportunity, declare my position.  I guess it is an “in what order” thing. 
It is a toughie.  I imagine if it were easy everyone would do it and it would not be the problem it is seen to be.  There seems to be another level I have only become aware of in recent years.  It seems everyone thinks my actions are based on the way they see things.  Some imagine that my actions are born of the actions they would do.  That is why there are so many misunderstandings.
People know they are loved but so often it seems to be love plus.  Motives are good but often it is not so much the love that is seen, but the expectation to change.  A person’s behaviour may be destructive and the best thing to do may be to take the advice on offer.  But I know I am disinclined to take advice unless it is something I feel to do.  I need to come around.  My first response may be to bur up, but reflection can change things.
It is a real pity because there is no doubt in my mind people care a lot.   Yet it can be years of seemingly no progress.  That can happen anyway.  Our only action is unconditional love.
This is not something that is theory only.  I had to do this for years.  I felt the only way someone would open up was if they knew I was not judging but simply loving.  It meant not saying many things.  But as a result, I felt the person was willing to talk to me about exactly how they felt, and I felt what I had to say was considered.
I guess it has to do with my view that love is a doing word.  It is not always easy and often confrontation is the line of least resistance.  Yet there is no doubt in my mind that loving unconditionally is always worth it.  Change may take time, and it may not happen at all.
Why should anyone live up to my expectations?  I know I am flawed. I am a full-time job anyway.  The best I can do is make my love unconditional.