Ugly, Beautiful Words

“When I think that I am moving, suddenly things stand still.”  I was reminded of those words from a song this morning, as I thought about how important the words I speak are.
There are like “doh” times.  Things have been going along smoothly and I haven’t put my foot in my mouth for a while.  Then I go and say something I immediately regret saying.  Sometimes it impacts another negatively, and sometimes just me. I find out what I am capable of.  Often I had no idea but an idle word catches me out.  It may or may not be the way I feel, but it was something that need not have been said – maybe at all or in that way.
I hold to the thinking that no lesson in life is designed to pull me down or make me out to be lessor than I am.  Having said that I do think sometimes I may need to be brought down a peg or two.  Not to make me feel worthless, as I do not think I ever am, but to give me a realistic self-assessment.
That is never pleasant, but it can have good results if I let it.  Reality checks can not seem pleasant at the time they happen.  As someone said something like “we live for the future, but we learn from the past.”    I don’t see myself saying something potentially hurtful but the present which becomes the past can show me otherwise.
By the same token the opposite can be true too.  There are times I say something and I just know it is the right thing at the right time and in the right way.
On a few occasions I have seen people unexpectedly cry tears of joy because what I said was something needed at the time.  It is never said in any guru like fashion.  It is always said in passing and meant.  It is like everyday conversation that, unknown to me, contains a hidden gem.
Merril and I are doing something together and it contains an element where we deliberately find another to encourage.  Naturally encouragement can be something done, but we are ensuring it is something said at least.
I admit I am very much into that as I feel everyone needs encouragement.  I only need to listen to conversations around me to know others are regularly pulled down.  I had one lady thank me for something I said yesterday.  She was purchasing something at our market and was highlighting the inadequacies of another and working herself up about it.  I mentioned something I feel strongly and that is I am not responsible for another’s response but only my own.  Her words were destroying her and the shift in focus suddenly highlighted that it was her response that mattered. The perceived inadequacies of another were not her problem.
To me there are so many hurtful words out there and I do not want to be a part of the problem but part of the answer.  My goal is to build up and not pull down.  I am not and never will be perfect at it, but I will always keep practicing.