Two Faced

Someone said something today I have made reference to in my writing, but it is something I would like to explore further.  They were saying someone said something to them that was some sort of commitment, but when it came time to organize it, they had no intention of doing it.
It actually reminded me of what I see sometimes.  A person says something to my face then says exactly the opposite to someone else.
It seems to me to be at best trying to please everyone.  What is stated does not represent a firmly held belief, but is stated as a convenience.  It tries to win everyone over but comes undone when either party sees all that is stated.
Often it seems like a way to avoid confrontation.  Often, to get rid of someone, it is seen as necessary to agree with all that is stated.  That represents the shortest time possible of being with someone.
I do have trouble with that, as I can build something based on what was stated only to find it is not the case and was never intended to be.  Generally, for me that is a learning curve.  It informs my behaviour.
It does not mean I hold something in, and resentment builds.  That would be a bit rich.  I continue to love, accept, and forgive, but when it comes to commitments, I am wary.  Once bitten twice shy as they say.  The proof of the pudding is in the eating - not in the presentation.  What looks beautiful can be full of stuff I would not want to touch with a ten-foot pole.
I was guilty of such a thing many years ago.  The consequences were inconsequential in the long term, but they were not that way at the time to the person I said yes to and then no.  It can really upset things. Things are put in motion and then come to a grinding halt.
That was probably more than 30 year ago, but I never forgot it.  It is weird.  It may have been water off a duck’s back to the one concerned, but it stood out to me big time.  I determined that I would never commit myself again without thinking it through.
Sometimes something can turn out to my detriment, but Merril will tell you, if I commit, it means I wear the cost if there is one.  It may be money.  It may be time.  What ever it is if I have said it, I will follow through.  I want others to be able to take me at my word.
For some I guess that is almost natural.  For me it took a vivid lesson I have never forgotten.