Trust

I heard someone say today, “it is ok to look up to someone, but it is never ok to look down on someone.  I like that.  I feel like I am in the middle somewhere, but it does not matter.  What I need is a hand up not a put down.
I do feel that sort of thing is pretty important.  I am not one to say, “you should do such and such.”  I have seen so many try to change another to no avail.  So often words drive apart rather than draw closer.
It really does sound like a cliché but love and trust draw.  Some have had terrible lives.  A lifetime of mistrust often gives way slowly to trust.  Some family experiences are lonely ones despite being surrounded by perhaps many.  Trust abused is not replaced with trust quickly.  I learn it.  I grow into it.  Most have a semblance of trustworthiness.  Yet when push comes to shove self-interest so often prevails.
I learned the importance of trust with someone I was close to.  I had seen so often words push them away.   Trust was a commodity in short supply.  I was determined to love rather than judge.  If I was asked I would say what I thought but always the motivation was love.  It took ages but change happened.  They felt they could trust and be themselves without condemnation being their portion.  The amazing thing was they exhibited being a better person.  Separation gave way to closeness.
We wondered how the birds we feed would get on while we were away.  We were hoping one would go, as it was time the baby fended for itself.  Turns out a couple stayed (which we wanted).  But three Magpies flew in which we did not want.  We have already seen some species no longer visit because of who was here.
These Magpies acted like they owned the place.  I was having none of that, so I walked quickly towards them.  All that meant was a magpie looked up at me from close quarters.  They were probably doing the rounds and had learned to trust.  If they were wanted, they would have been treated good.  As it was, they were treated well while being discouraged from visiting.
Merril suggested I make myself large.  It is sure not easy to make myself look formidable, but I did my best the make myself look intimidating.  All that did was cause the magpie to hop out of my way, but stay as close as possible to the food on offer.  We now wait for them to leave and then bring the food out.
The point for me is they had learned to trust.  The other birds fly away but we do notice with some they do not fly far, and return even before we have disappeared.
Trust is earned and learned.  For me it was easy but others have limited experience in seeing trustworthiness.
My experience is that invariably I get let down and I let down others.  I may have reasonable expectations but that includes knowing with people it will happen.  But the good thing is when one lets down one does not.  Trust to me is all about trustworthiness.