Toothpaste

I must admit, this toothpaste we have been using has changed my way of thinking.  I do regret though that it took me so many years to find this out.  I could have maybe lived to 1,000 if I had known, but I did not, and although every little bit helps, it is probably too late for me.
But it is not too late for future generations.  I may be one small voice among many, but if one life is extended and changed for the better it is worth it.  Though the earlier one starts the better.  If they only started when they could read though, they would have lost decades.  No pressure, but it probably up to the parents.
I realize my mistake was in assuming.  I remember decades ago someone saying, “never assume” and I thought that was really good advice.  I obviously ignored it in this instance.
See, my mistake was I always “assumed” toothpaste was good for me.  Yet this is the only one that has told me up front that it is “pro-health.”  I can only surmise that all the others are “pro-do you in.”
Here I was blissfully unaware as loaded my toothbrush with toothpaste and skated over my pearly whites, that this could be bad for me.  Come to think of it, I broke a fast with toothpaste once, and got sick many years later.  Maybe there was a timing device in the toothpaste that would only go off many years later.  Maybe I was fortunate in that I only got sick.
It also says it gives all-round protection.  So things like “sting goes” is a thing of the past.  It is a waste of time.  All I need to do is use this toothpaste and be protected all around.
I am a bit concerned though.  It says “protects the areas dentists check out.”  What if on my last visit to the dentist he had a golf game booked and was running late at the surgery?  Perhaps he took short cuts.  Perhaps he did not check out the areas he normally checks out.  Does that mean I am no longer protected in those areas and am fair game?
I do like that it says “fresh mint.”  But I reckon it would say something like that.  I have never seen “animal carcass” promoted.  Don’t know why though.  They have totally missed the chance for people to say, “hmmm you smell of animal carcass and I can’t get enough.”
I am a bit miffed.  This has got to be one of the least minty tasting toothpastes I have ever had.  But that is really a small price to pay when I know this is the only one that states up front it is pro-health.  It seems this one has my best interests at heart.
Then again, how do I know really?  Perhaps it is a trap.  Perhaps they want me to think they have my best interests at heart.  Perhaps I am just overthinking this.  I just don’t know.  Perhaps I should never use toothpaste again.
Or soap.  I blame Gruen for that.  Apparently Dove had an ad that shows other soaps leave scum.  And here I was thinking it cleaned me.  I am wondering if it is better to have high intensity scum on my knees from gardening, than having scum evenly distributed over my whole body.
Got to admit though, this has forced a change.  I will never look at a tube of toothpaste the same again.