To Be Or Not To Be

I find it interesting where my thoughts take me.  At times it is to very unexpected places.  I was thinking earlier about someone and how their behaviour had disappointed me.  When I was thinking about what could be done, I had a really unexpected thought.  In thinking about it I realized my Christian faith changed everything.
I see two alternatives.  One just does not work or if it does no one is more surprised than me.  Yet it is that one I see everywhere and is employed in the majority of cases and I see it rarely work.  Yet those who practice such things insist it is right.  Right to me is determined by if it works or not.
It is attempting to change someone through force of argument or personality.  I have been on the end of that.  I can only speak for me.  When someone tries to persuade me that my particular belief or course of action is not the way to go, I get my back up.  Even when the person is talking sense I will not change unless I choose to do so.
What ends up happening is I avoid the person.  The chance of friendship is gone when I need to conform to another’s standard of behaviour to be accepted.  When they try to conform me to their image.  Or it may be that they are trying to conform me to some other image.  I will not have a bar of it unless I want to.
It was the alternative that took me by surprise.  I have had an inkling but I found this was a personal experience and it blew me away.  Into my conscieness and totally unexpected came the thought “don’t you think I have all this under control?”  My anxiety and stress about it was replaced with a peace which was much better.  I would be less inclined to accept such a thing if Merril and I had not been praying regularly about the matter, but we had. 
I felt I had done all I could.  My efforts had been a failure.  In fact, it was probably worse now than it had been.  To me it is hardest to trust when circumstances speak the loudest to the contrary.  Yet when I have done all I can and know to do and the situation has not visibly improved, what choice do I really have?
It seems to me defeat is often snatched from the jaws of victory. I know when storms come over (and I really do not like storms) it always gets better immediately after it is at its worst.  It seems I am too inclined to throw up my hands declaring all is lost just before the storm front passes.
I am still working through all this, and my thoughts reflect where I am at right now.  I know my primary responsibility is to love someone rather than change someone.  I totally believe it is only love that brings trust and a person’s inclination to tell me how things really are (when they are ready).  It could be me that is there to help or someone else.  It does not matter to me really.  To me it is a good choice that matters.