Talking

Most of us have probably seen the skit where a man at a desk is talking on the phone to his wife.  While conversing he puts the ear piece in a draw, and gets on with what he is doing.  Every now and then he takes the phone from the draw and says “yes dear,” and puts the phone back in the drawer.  The aim is to make us laugh, but I reckon there is something in that.
Merril says I don’t forget stuff (I do, but please don’t tell her that).   I have found a real key to not forgetting things is to really listen in the first place. 
Most of us have probably heard it said “oh they were only listening with one ear.”  It is so easy to do.  I may have something I am totally absorbed in.  Talking can be like background noise.  I need to be really careful though.  I am fond of saying that just because it does not matter to me, does not mean that it does not matter.
People generally talk because they have something to say.  That is not always the case, and we discern fairly quickly it is just chatter.  At other times, what is being said may not be something that engages us, but it matters big time to the one telling us.  Even if it is something from their past, at the very least it provides insight.  If I am self-absorbed I will miss it.   There are times it really is all about me, but it seems they are the exception rather than the rule.
It is really important I get done what I feel to do, but sometimes I use it simply as an excuse, rather than a real reason.  Often I claim to be time poor, when it is really a case of time management.
People tend to gravitate to someone who listens to hear, rather than listens to speak. Sometimes I would prefer someone did not gravitate to me, but I either need to diplomatically dissuade them, or take it as an opportunity to learn something.
When hearing something, I sometimes repeat back what I have heard.  It is important I heard it right.  On a number of occasions I have been corrected.  That does not surprise me.  So often people hear what they want to hear, rather than hearing what was said.  I am not immune to that, and I don’t know anyone who is.  That is especially true as we seem to cloak others the same way we are cloaked.
It seems guys are results oriented, when sometimes all that is needed is a listening ear.  That can be incredibly frustrating, because as a guy, I just want to solve something and say “next!”  I need to accept that opening up, may just make someone feel better.
There is a good chance though, that once I have earned someone’s trust, there will come a time where my care needs to have feet.