Talents

Bit of self-whipping going on here.  Sort of a reminiscing with regrets.
I do not believe having regrets is wrong, but I do believe living in regrets is wrong.  It is unhealthy.  A downer.  It seems to me few things can bring someone down quicker than living in what might have been.
Get over it Kuskie.  As they say it is no use crying over spilt milk.  Speaking of spilt milk, I know someone that used sanitizer on their hands and then grabbed a bottle of milk.  The bottle slipped through their hands and broke on the floor.  All the if only’s in the world, does not bring that bottle back.
It is stated some where that each of us has things we are naturally good at.  For some it is like one major talent, for another it may be five and for another it may be ten. 
I see myself as one who had ten.  I believe it is a realistic self-assessment.  Anything positive can only come from honesty.  Pretending something is not the way it is, means I have not even got to first base.
In table tennis I saw brothers.  One had talent to burn.  The other was a slogger.  The one with talent squandered what they had.  The slogger kept at it.
Like for everyone, anything I had needed to be developed.  I see it like a recipe.  Individual items are not generally a recipe, but put together they make a recipe.  I may have a talent, but by itself it does not make a recipe.  Developed, it can be used to make a recipe.
I could sing (some may debate that), write songs, public speak, lead, cut to the chase in conversations, make people feel comfortable, write, do stuff.  In all honesty I think I had a lot going for me.  Since the stroke I feel less are as easy to access, but still a lot.
The thing is, I now have less time.  If I knew years ago what I know now things may have been different.  I say may have been as I will never really know. Hindsight is a great teacher.   I had extended periods of growing but too often I needed to start again.  It is not an excuse, but I think it must have been a family trait.  I saw it in one of my parents.  It is funny how so often we see in others something that is in ourselves.
I do not lament and throw my hands in the air though.  I do not know when my number will be up, but while I may have less time, I still have time.  It does not matter if I have a minute or years, time is not the issue, but what I do with that time.
I am one who does not want to go out in a smoulder, but in a blaze.