Swab

​Unbelievable.  It so seems like a set up, but it was not.  I was there.  I asked Merril to shut her eyes open the dictionary, point to a word, and tell me what it was.
It was swab.
Well I learned something if nothing else.  There is a usage of swab that is not longer used.  In olden times people used to say “ye swab!”  It meant you are not a very nice person.  It came from a 17th century word when sailors were assigned to “swab the decks!”  Basically it meant give em a clean.
I could have also looked up the meaning of swab in urdu or telugu but why would I?  I wanted a clear definition in English.
It had two current meanings. “an absorbent pad or piece of material used in surgery and medicine for cleaning wounds, applying medication, or taking specimens.” And, “a mop or other absorbent device for cleaning or mopping up a floor or other surface.” 
I could relate to both.  Once I had stopped crying as I realized it was no use, I cleaned up the spilt milk.  I guess I swabbed it up. 
I know the owner had to swab the court floor when I had a mishap playing squash one time.  My face and a racquet tried to occupy the same space at the same time and the racquet was in a real hurry to get there.  My nose was bent all out of shape.  Mum said it was an improvement so goodness knows what it looked like before that.  The release of blood was instantaneous.  It gushed out.  The owner grabbed his mop and bucket and dealt with the consequences.
I don’t think the result is so bad they could not take a nose swab of me for the corona virus.  It would be terrible if they had to force it.  Eyes tend to water anyway.  That would make it worse but there seems to be few more vulnerable positions to be in then having a swab right up the nose.  No one who has ever had the test has come back and said, “well that was great.”
I take an aspirin every day to thin the blood.  A side effect is when I bleed, I don’t do it by halves.  Whatever the procedure, if there is a cut, there generally is swabbing to deal with the blood flow.
There are even videos of swab.  I can’t help think, “these people need to get a life.”  But then I think of Merril putting a video online of something rare and the views are in the thousands.
There is “News about swab.”  I’ve got news about swab.  The news is there is no news.  Not here at the moment anyway.
It is amazing what is out there.  There is a Book called “Swab.”  Surely in the horror section.  There is one place I see advertising alcohol swabs.  I guess that means alcohol does not just come in bottles these days.  But sucking on a cloth to absorb something does not sound very efficient.  There is a video called “How to self swab.”  I did not watch it, but I reckon it would be like 1.  Be a masochist.
I think I am over this swab thing.  I will never view mopping the floor or cleaning up a mess the same again.