Surprise, Surprise

There are times I write about stuff I want to think through further.  The title today was born of experiences I had and what I endeavour to do these days.  Some things are born of bitter (for want of a better word) experience.  That is, I did it wrong and now do it differently.  Some things I seem to have gotten right based on what seemed right.
One thing I have found is that apart from what we call a “pleasant surprise” most people do not like to be surprised.
I feel is totally unfair of me is to give a matter a lot of thought and then spring it on others asking them to agree.  Sometimes what is proposed is easy and straightforward and a decision can be made quickly. At other times people need time to come to their own conclusions. 
One thing I did find was that often when other thoughts are added, a better solution presents itself.  Solutions may be the same as proposed, but other thoughts are added, and the solution becomes more complete.  That always gives a sense of ownership.
Another thing I realize is that not everyone sees the world as I see it.  A classic example for me was a few years ago someone asking that I change something.  Without me realizing it, the words I had used could have a different connotation for someone else, and I did not realize it.  This sort of thing classically happens when using my words in another culture.  What I say can mean something totally different to another.
I really have no problem changing the way I word something without changing its intention.  It is really why when writing something, I use the most general words possible. It seems counter productive to me to use complicated words that restrict who gets what is being said.  Better in my mind to have as many as possible understand, rather than a few.
My experience is that it is better to telegraph intentions (in many situations) and to give others time to absorb a matter and perhaps add their own take.  What I like about this is it gives a sense of ownership rather than ruling by decree. 
There is a time for everything but often it is not the time for decree but for consultation.