Supports

There seems to be at least one thing this Covid19 is showing me.
It was summed up for me on a show I saw on the ABC a few years ago.  It is called “You can’t ask that.”  Sometimes I think it is really good, and at other times it is terrible.  I have mentioned the show before.  They were asking questions of migrants.  Not the European looking ones, but Africans and others.
One lady from an African nation said, “over there I had nothing but was never more spiritually alive, over here I have everything but have never been more spiritually dead.”
That sentence sums up for me what we are going through right now.  Merril and I sit at home catching up on things.  The only time we go out is to get food or visit the family or the doctor.  We phone others to make sure things are ok.
Never have I felt more clearly what matters to me.  I feel like a heap of supports have been knocked out from under me.  Yet because of the affluence of this country (for which I am truly thankful) being forced to stay at home for a few weeks seems to almost feel like an injustice.  I do it because it is best for everyone, but having time to consider things was not on my to do list.
Yet I still have access to so much.  Food, shelter and security are not an issue for me at this point.  I have the technology to stay in touch with friends.  I can even get a visual of others when the opportunity is right.  For many, food is scarce, shelter is using what is at hand, and they would not be running away if they had security.
Yet for me there is a sense of loss.  Though loss is proportional.  If I start with $100 and lose $90, I have lost 90%.  If I start with one dollar and lose that, I have lost 100%.  Being retired, my sense of loss is no doubt not as acute as those who have lost their job.  Yet be it is small or great, there is a sense of loss.  Some have lost loved ones – that is a biggy.
Because of where I come from, I see things like food, shelter and security as important, but not the most important thing.  That is easy for me to say, but it is what I feel.
I love God, love people and love life.  The number one there is my number one.  I have found when that is my anchor everything else is taken care of.  When it is not, I appreciate them, but know my supports are only good for a while.