Success

For all the downers in retirement (ill health and slowing down) there is one thing I have noticed and am grateful for – time to think.  When working I was very busy doing and I grabbed contemplation time where I could.  Yet in retirement it is like it is flipped.  I have more time to think if I want it.
One of the things that occurred to me this morning is that I very much find that what matters to me most, is what consumes my time the most.  To me that is not a good or bad thing but just the way it is.  What is my priority rules me.
For me it is a case of God, family, others.  My observation is that God and family first is a must for anyone to be successful, and “others” vary from person to person.
I though it is important I clarify in my own mind what is success.  I looked up the definition of success and the first one I saw is to me only part of the story.  It said success was the attainment of fame, wealth, or social status.
To me the attainment of such things can be part of the story but is not the story of success.  Some attain such things but what they say, after getting what they want reflects that those things in themselves are not the measure of success.
I read a few things while looking at all this and some just rang a bell for me.  One was a person saying they looked for success but just discovered hard work.  Another said that success was measured by the obstacles overcome.  Though there are an estimated 8 billion people on this planet and success is available, few find it because it involves difficult choices and effort.
Merril and I laugh at a particular memory.  She started to say, “women don’t sweat, they perspire.”  She got as far as “women don’t sweat…” when a young fella said, “they would if they put in the effort.”  He missed her point, but I reckon he was right.  No matter what way is travelled, both men and women face difficult choices at times and effort is required.
I remember on “You Can’t Ask That” on the ABC, a refugee from Africa said, “over there I had nothing but was never more spiritually rich.  Over here I have everything but have never been more spiritually poor.”
Maybe this will be seen as a “you can’t say that” thing but I do wonder what it will take to alter priorities.  For me a stroke made the difference.  So much it seems to me is not a first choice thing, but a what it takes thing.  What the African lady said, to me, sums up success in a nutshell but there are so many distractions. 
Success to me is not measured by the things I have but it is measured by what I am.  Success to me is doing what I am supposed to do.  It may involve fame, wealth or social status but there is a good chance it will not.  By the definition given very few can be “successful” while the vast majority remain only bit players.
Yet to me the person I never hear of who tends well their faith, family and others is a success.  The stay at home mum, the 9-5 worker, the retiree or the kid can be successful when success is measured not by what I have but by who I am.