Stumbling

It is weird I know but the people I feel most affinity for, are those that have a dream and for whatever reason have stumbled getting there.
There are those that seem to know what thy want and what is the right way, and go from strength to strength getting there.  I admire and look up to them, but I do have trouble relating to them.
Being single minded in pursuit of a worthwhile thing is always preferred, but to me double mindedness can occur at any time.  I was listening to an artist this morning, who had a stellar career, but relapsed into alcoholism.  He is back, and while I would not normally go for the type of music he sings, it seems the words carry an added weight.  While it would be better if he had not been where he went, life is not always like that.  He gives hope that stumbling need not be terminal.   
From what I have seen the lifelong single pursuit of something is often the exception rather than the rule.  I would never know it though.  Most like to convey an aura of having it all together always.  Yet experience tells me that for most that is not true.  No wonder it was said “most men lead lives of quiet desperation.”
The martyr I admire most is the one who recanted and then stood  firm.  He was burned at the stake.
It seems to me that many have a dream and stumble and fall.  They then dust themselves off and set out again.  In many cases I have seen, they have been written off and walk a lonely road.  Many have been hurt to the point of having trouble trusting people again.  Reaching out is tentative.
Yet I totally believe failure need not be final.  What matters most to me is getting along side someone and declaring confidence and belief in the person.  Maybe I will look like an idiot.  Perhaps the one I express confidence in proves the confidence is misplaced.
For me that is disappointing and may take a while to get over, but I am constantly reminded my story is not about someone else, but about me.  I need others to express confidence in me, and I need to express confidence in others.
There is something liberating about expressions of confidence.  Belief arises where it may have been lacking.  It arises where it has not been shown.  The belief is one that has been personally held to despite, not because of, others.
Many hold to something because they have to rather than want to.  Jobs are kept and conditions are meet because the alternative is too costly.  Yet when it comes to accepting and holding to what is an unforced choice, wavering happens.  Many acquire an acceptable skill level and move on becoming a jack of many skills and masters of none.
That has been me.  I held onto my job because the alternative was unthinkable.  Many years ago I did resign but rang asking for my job back again after thinking “what have I done.”
Yet I do have a dream.  It is not job related (just as well really as those days are over) but delay does not mean never.
My cloths may be dusty, but a good wash fixes that.