Speaking the Truth in Love

Sometimes what I have to say can be the right thing at the right time.  It has happened.  At least I think it has.
At other times though I can have the right thing to say but it is the wrong time.  I have been on the receiving end of both.  When it is the wrong time, I tend to go into my shell.  For others it may be the straw that broke the camels back.  What to me may have been just a space filler may have been to someone else a negative confirmation of something that alters their behaviour for the worst.
I put a saying online the other day about the tongue.  How it has no bones but is strong enough to break a heart.  I really do not want to do that.  I prefer someone to be better rather than bitter.  They are responsible for their reactions, but I am responsible for my words.
I have problems with the term “constructive criticism.”  Constructive to me is always good.  It builds a person up.  It potentially inspires.  Yet criticism is always negative.  I have never responded well to criticism.  For me it has always been pulling down in a non-constructive way.  The Cambridge dictionary defines criticism as “the act of saying that something or someone is bad”
I have no problem with calling a spade a spade and sometimes someone or something is bad, but I do not know that criticism changes anything for the better,  Putting “constructive” in front of it may make me feel better, but I don’t know that it makes the intended target feel any better.
I understand that the design is to positively change behaviour and not to make someone feel better, but I am not convinced it is my roll to criticize.  A person would need to set aside a number of sessions for criticism of me.  Mostly they would be confirming what I already know.
I do like better a term that is not used much these days but is “speaking the truth in love.”  Why I like that is the truth needs to be told.  Sometimes it is not pleasant.  However, that does not mean something does not need highlighting.  I am big on the only way to change something it to acknowledge its existence.  I put a cartoon on recently where a guy declared they had a great solution, and now they needed to find a problem to fit it.  To me there are enough problems already that need solutions.
While the truth needs to be brought out, it needs to be done in love.  Love to me is a balm.  Sometimes I have a wound containing nastiness and it needs to be dealt with.  Someone treating it in a gun ho manner can mean the solution is worse than the problem.  If on the other hand it is dealt with in such a way that healing is enabled, I stand a much better chance of having a problem fixed and moving on.  Criticism to me is like dealing with a wound without anaesthetic, while speaking the truth in love is like dealing with it with anaesthetic.
To me it is always about doing the right thing at the right time.  The right thing may be obvious.  The right time is always a judgement call.