Shoes

I think someone has been reading my mail. I was just listening to a song that said, “I’m coming back home to build what I tore down.”
This seems to be a run in the family thing.  I do find it amazing though, that so often I see in others what I fail to see in myself.  It has only been in the crucible of experience I have seen it is where I come from too.
I have a little theory based on what I have seen.  So often it is what is in someone themselves they see as needing correcting in another.  That is me anyway.  Often the reason I am an authority in some things is because I have “been there, done that.”
The problem to me is refusing to do something about the problem.  If I keep insisting another needs to change while denying I need to do the same thing then, “Houston, we have a problem.”
The reason I see my difficulties as potentially a good thing is, the only way I can relate to another is to have done a close approximation to walking in their shoes.  People go through stuff that is like chalk and cheese to me.  The best I can manage is an uncomprehending blink.  Thankfully, there are others who have the same shoes.  I can relate to them.
Those who wear the same shoes are my kind of people.  What matters to me though is to be a part of the solution rather than a part of the problem.  I know that I am a part of the problem in some things.  That is one of the reasons I keep the help on.  To me what I go through matters less than how I respond to what I go through.
It seems to be a fact of life that everyone goes through stuff.  Most good.  Some bad.  I was talking to someone yesterday I had not seen in a month or two, and they told me without prompting their daughter had been diagnosed with leukemia and the prognosis is not good.  She could be in the cancer house for three years and that is a good scenario.  He is one of those guys that looks as tough as nails but has a soft heart.  I know it is not always the case, I but have been seeing a bit of that lately.  People who look tough but hide a softness.
His situation is more dire than mine, but in a sense, because of what I have been through, I felt we were wearing similar shoes.  Sometimes listening is the best thing to do, but to me there is a real difference between listening and caring and listening without any sort of comprehension or relating.
I want to see some things became a “was,” rather than remain an “is”.  I don’t pretend that anything is done and dusted, and I can move on never having a particular problem again.  But I have found what works on a small scale often works on a big scale.  The principle is the solution to the problem.
One thing for sure though, nothing long term can be achieved if I continually pull down what I have built.  That is why I am a work in progress, and it is time to get the help in again.