Sexagnarian

It was Merril turn to choose the word from the dictionary.  Initially I felt my trepidation was justified.  I looked at the word and it started Sex…  I thought maybe I would write about it but not post it.  I do write about everything that comes up.  But I do not post everything that comes up.
Turns out I needn’t have worried.  The word was “sexagenarian” or “from 60 to 69 years old.”  That was it.  Oh there was more in different writing and brackets but it changed nothing.
It was actually a bit of a relief.  I was not dealing with some deviant form of sexuality that effects 3 in 1,000 people in the population.  Nor was it something I had never heard of but should have.
It was also a relief because it describes me!  I’m a sexagenarian.  I am 63 so I qualify because I am between 60 and 69.  But that is it really.  Less than 200 words.  I’m not even half-way.
Though being 63 years old sort of snuck up on me.  When I was 203…actually I have never been that.  That was a typing error.  When I was 20 or 30 I did not even consider the 60s.  No doubt about it I am glad I made it.  But I am no longer top dog, El Supremo, number one.  Well, I never was - but I can dream and I did feel invincible.  I made decisions based on what I wanted rather than what was best for me.
It seems like no time at all has past and now I do not have the options I once did.  I still have options and enough to keep me plenty busy, but I know they are less than they were.  There is food for thought in something I just read that that Henry Rollins said.  “No such thing as spare time, no such thing as free time. no such thing as down time. All you got is lifetime. Go.”  I reckon there is free and down time, but they are part of what goes up to make a lifetime.
Thankfully I am not one to dwell in the past.   There have been heaps of good things but I have my regrets.  I love the words of a song I heard for the first time the other sday.  “I’ve got a bag of regrets, should have beens and not yets.”  Things I’d do different if I had my time over again.  But one thing is for sure, that is not going to happen.
Still, the bad stuff has been dealt with.  I plan for the future but what I have is now.  I reckon I want to make the most of it.  That is not necessarily doing something that would make me a household name, but doing something that improves the lot of another.
To me it is not about what time I had, but what time I’ve got.