Self-Pity

I read a sentence this morning I really think is true.  It reflects my experience.  The sentence was, “the most damaging impact of self-pity is its ultimate end.”
I do not know it is either good or bad, but I tend to be a big picture guy.  As they say, some cannot see the wood for the trees, but I tend to look beyond the trees unless the trees are my destination.  If they are not, then I look beyond them to where I am heading.
My default position is not “I can’t,” but “I can.”  I start with “this is worthwhile, how can I make it happen?”  It is then if I discover if it I really cannot be done, and I find something else to do.
From my experience when self-pity strikes, I often disassociate myself from others.  This makes matters worse.  Mostly it is a subtle decline.  I do not go straight from being the life of the party to staying behind locked doors.  Eventually though, I realize I am in the sloth of despond.  It is isolation by choice, and not for the common good.
A friend of mine recently went through a classic of this.  They went from employment and having groups of people over every week, to minimal employment and not having anyone over ever.  To me they were isolating themselves.  I reckon that is not seeing the wood for the trees.  So often others see things more clearly than I do.  It seems that can be because it is “woe is me” and I fail to see things clearly.
I have found that just getting out and mixing with people helps me to see things clearer.  I may not do anything profound, but if I can get my eyes off myself even briefly, I often feel better.  It amazes me how even my body chemistry works against me.  I went for a run one time and I felt so much better.  Any little win is a win.  If I have enough of them, they accumulate, and I can find myself turning around.
For me, a key is wanting change.  Others may want it for me, but unless I do too, then nothing will change except it gets worse.  So much depends on me.  It is a lie to think I am beyond it.  It is amazing how the change of my thought process from hopelessness to hope galvanizes so much hope to come my way.  I tend to get what I see.  If I expect the worst, that is my inheritance.
That has been the way it has been for me anyway.  I guess it is a bit like the quote I used the other day about the best thing about a dead-end street is I can turn around.  When I do not turn around, the dead-end street becomes my home.  When I do, all sorts of possibilities open up.
For me there are few things worse than self-pity.  It is like choosing to remain in a prison even though the gates are open.  All sorts of undesirable things may have caused me to inhabit that prison in the first place, but no matter what, if I stay there it is my choice.