Self-Image

​Self-Image

When it comes to looks men seem to have an inbuilt denier while women seem to have an inbuilt accuser.

I joke with Merril that when an x-ray of my chest is needed, it takes three to get it all in. I

But I do like to look spiffy. Sometimes adjustments are needed but I will try to look my best. As I sometimes say about make up, if the door needs painting paint it. Ok I do not wear makeup, but I am happy enough to have things adjusted to look my best (though I did think a girlfriend years ago went too far adjusting my socks to fit the “yuppy” look. That was not the look I was going for. I was just going for the “don’t make anyone look twice” look.)

Why I think some ladies have an inbuilt accuser is how many keep nice cloths that maybe size 12 they wore many years ago, but do not fit into now. And have not for years. Yet they live in hope. Hope they are going to fit back into them.

It can happen, but mostly does not. Eventually they get sold off as realization grows that it is not going to happen.

It seems to me the desire is often built on a negative self-image. There is the thought that “if I can just fit into that I will be happy.” I have found the trouble is (for man or women), happiness is not based on how I look. How I look can produce satisfaction, but it cannot produce lasting happiness.

It is probably a bit of a generalization, but bigger people are often the happiest people I know. Besides so often how beauty is defined is a cultural thing. In some cultures being big is what is desired. There the cry would be “I’m not big enough.” It seems to me each outlook can have its problems and have a negative impact on the person concerned (for big people diabetes can be a real issue, while for slim people anorexia can be a real issue.)

Yet it seems to me it is perception that is the real issue. It is basing my sense of self-worth on how I look, and believing that because I do not fit a cultural stereo type I am worth less.

My view is that if my self-image is based on anything other than what it is supposed to be based on, I am asking for trouble.
Happiness will be fleeting at best. Work is constantly needed to register positively on my happiness meter. When I blow it I can be misery personified. I can get a “what the heck” attitude and end up in a worst state than I may have if I had not been trying to adhere to an unattainable standard.

Besides, old age awaits. A time comes when trying to impress is not seen to be as needed or useful as it once was.

I will always try to look my best. Weather big or small I will take note of and try to deal with what is not good for me or anyone. Yet I will not base my self-worth on an unrealistic or unattainable standard.

I am what I am. If you have a problem with that, it is your problem and not mine.