Self-Esteem

Someone said, “your relationships will rarely be healthier than your self-esteem.”
Some things I agree with because I have seen them at work.  It is amazing how those who struggle in themselves rarely enjoy good healthy relationships.  I can think of a couple of people who were loners as a result of not liking themselves or others.  Life was all about them.  Yet in moments of clarity and honesty they would, after blaming everyone but themselves for their problems, admit they did not like themselves.
I see a world of difference between Christian self-image and what is often promoted.  What is promoted is seemingly often a claytons solution rather than the real one.  It reminds me of, say an alligator pair of shoes as opposed to shoes that look to be the real deal but made of a material that is a copy only.
The thing about an alligator pair of shoes is that some thing had to die.  To me self-esteem is like that.  My death produces something real, beautiful and genuine.  The often promoted self-esteem produces something that looks the part but with a limited shelf life.  Good for a while but not good for always.
Both it seems though need to guard against negativity.  Internal voices that tell a person they are no good or they will never amount to anything.  In many cases they are voices of the past that have been believed.  Negativity that is allowed to thrive will affect the decisions I make, my relationships and my sense of ability to achieve.  It is like starting a race and running the wrong course.  A course that gets progressively harder to see, and is full of hindering vines and thickets.
In one sense it does seem I talk a lot about problems.  Yet I cannot help feel it is not those who feel they are fine who can do with a leg up, but those willing to acknowledge that “Houston, we have a problem.”
Maybe I’m a sucker for punishment but they are the ones I will seek out.  Replacement theory and having died helps me.  But as the words of a song that has become a personal mantra says, “I’m not one who’s got it all in place telling you what you should do, I’m just one ol’ hungry beggar showing you where I found food.”