Self Assessment

There is no doubt what is on the inside will come out.  It cannot be disguised and it can only be hidden for so long. It may be a slip of the tongue, or a straight out unashamed declaration.  However it happens, what is inside comes out.
I am a fan of the IT Guys.  The boss there is so full of himself.  In what heralded the start of a new series he set a new level.  He was telling his board how fantastic he was.  I saw Steve Martin do much the same thing in a comedy.
By the same token there are others that have an assessment of themselves that is abysmal.  They see themselves as totally worthless and in worse case scenario’s, taking up air that could be better used by someone else.  They see themselves as totally undeserving of any good thing.
Both situations are almost laughable in their error.  It seems to me the truth is somewhere in between.  To think too highly of myself is pride and to think too lowly of myself is disgrace.  I may think of myself as the bees knees, top dog, too good to be true.  There is nothing like a realistic self-assessment and that IS nothing like a realistic self-assessment.  If there were a line up from the best to the worst I reckon I would be in there somewhere.  Put it this way, if I was as good as it got, we would all be in trouble I reckon.
However I think that thinking too lowly of myself is a crime against me too.  It is devaluing who I am.  I am the only me.  I have strengths and weaknesses and good and bad.  I am the only one who can do what I can do.  I have a responsibility to develop who I am, to be the best I can be.  It does not matter if I serve kings or paupers.  All roles matter.
Some seem to think that thinking too lowly of oneself is humility.  To me it is not.  Even though the word humility comes from a Latin word that means “low” it seems thinking too lowly of oneself is taking things too far.  I think of humility as a realistic self-assessment. After all, none of us put this place together, and we are all just one of many.
An incredibly good example for me of pride from history, was Babylon’s King Nebuchadnezzar. As king he took all the credit for his kingdom.  Before he knew it, he was eating grass in the field like a cow, and considered a madman.  When he came to his senses, he was made king again.
It seems both pride and unrealistic self-debasement can be my undoing.  Both can lead to recklessness and in the worst case, it can be the end of the story.
I don’t want that for me.  Personally I feel I need to guard against both.  My part seems to be, just being the best I can be.