Say What?

​I read something yesterday about listening that struck a chord with me. It seems to me to be a real artform and people seem to pick up instantly if I am listening or not. I guess I know it form when I am on the receiving end too if someone is listening passively or as already formed their own opinion and is simply waiting for me to finish before they say something.

For me it is a real turn off. I am disinclined to want to share my thoughts. I can feel it is a waste of time. The validity or otherwise of what I am saying is second to the opinion of another. It is a toughy and seemingly a fine line. To me it is ok for someone to have their own thoughts on something they have faced themselves and come to a conclusion about, but I find it hard to share my thoughts with a brick wall.

Just because someone is not cutting me off does not mean they are listening. Often it is what I don’t say that is the key. It can be that I a sharing something like what I have questions about. To me it takes a discerning listener and someone who is really listening to get to the bottom of what I am really asking. If someone is not listening they will not pick up on what is not being said. To me there are few things less satisfying than having a question that is not being asked answered.

To me that is picked on by someone who is genuinely listening. My feelings are that if I am genuinely listening to another it is good for me to get it right. If I have chosen to spend time in a situation it is important to me I make the most of the time rather than just marking time. If I am just marking time I may as well be doing something else as I am really just wasting time.

I make mistakes. I do not get it right. Wanting to do the right thing is not the same as doing the right thing. I read recently about a guy that thought another was approaching him only to hit him up for money. The guy was tired and just wanted to be out of there. His attitude changed big time when he found out the asker did not want money but was genuinely wanting answers to what was troubling him.

To me listening is all about attitude. If I am there I heed to be there and not somewhere else in my head. For sure it is a learning curve, but I want to get better at it.