Role

For a long time, I have felt there is good to be found even in the worst circumstance. 
It is my nature to ensure where possible the needs of others are met.  It is just me.  Some others are good at other things and are totally needed.  They are not at their best in my role, and I am not at my best in theirs.
It is by looking back I can see that emerge in me.  I feel it was very much at the fore when my bro had his stroke.
What mattered most to me was that the dignity of the sufferer be maintained.  It was not up to me to force my will on them, but it was up to me to promote as much as possible their independence of action and thought.
For sure it was limited, and I was not going to do something I did not morally believe in, but in so much that is just getting by I felt to be someone who aided and abetted the best.
I guess I also learned something of this from my stroke.  In that I no longer pined for what I did not have, but explored what I did have and could do, and perused that.
There is no doubt in my mind some who are dependant on others take help for granted as if it is a right.  There are others that feel badly even asking for assistance.  To me their attitude is not the point.  Mine is.  My response is all about acting in their best interests.  Sometimes tough love is needed, and at other times compassion and a helping hand.
I felt this with my brother.  It was only towards the end of his life he accepted I really did not mind taking him shopping and spending time with him.  We did what we could do together.  I was very fortunate.  He helped me and I helped him.
The whole point to me is finding what I am best at and have a natural inclination for and doing it.  It is not about being forced onto a path I really have no desire to go on but pursuing what comes naturally and excites me.  There are still hard times doing this but for every valley there is a mountain.