Priorities

This is an abridged version of an article I read and liked.  https://homeword.com
It seems like this conversation happened just yesterday, but it actually happened before Cathy and I had kids.  We went to get something to eat. Cathy’s lip began to quiver. Even though we had been married only couple of years, I knew the “quivering lip thing” was not a good sign. She blurted out, “Jim, I’m not sure we should have children. You are so busy with your work and everyone else’s kids, I just don’t know if you would be present in our kid’s lives.  You are always working!”
I felt like she had stabbed me in the gut. What’s worse, I knew she was right. I loved my work. I loved everything about my job and it was successful. At the same time, I knew I was working too many hours and it was affecting my relationship with Cathy and that my work would eventually affect my relationship with our children. I was having an affair with my work.  I had to admit that Cathy was only getting my emotional scraps. I was giving my best to my work and there wasn’t much left over for her.
I have struggled all my adult life with “confused priorities.” And yet, I could tell what the right priorities should be, even though I had trouble living them out.  The problem was my priorities were constantly muddied and clouded. [An example was] when we finally did have children, we found it easy to fall into the trap of having a child-focused marriage.
Work is important but not more important than family. I’ve heard many key leaders say, “If I would change anything, I would have spent more quality time with my family.”
It is too easy to give the family only emotional scraps.   Many years ago, I was speaking at a Conference. One of my heroes, Jack Hayford, was the MC for the event. I asked him, “Jack, what is the secret to your leadership success?”   Jack thought for a moment and said, “Jim, it’s not what I have chosen to do that has helped me, but rather what I have chosen NOT to do. I’ve had to say no to some very good things to say yes to the most important things.” I asked, “What are those things?” This amazing international leader said, “I’ve needed to say yes to my wife, children and grandchildren. That day Jack taught me this principle: The key is not to prioritize your schedule but to schedule your priorities. This will always ensure that your family gets your best attention.