Open Up

I can be in a crowd of people and feel totally alone.  To me, that can be a negative thing and a positive thing.
It is negative if the reason I feel alone is because I am not willing to open up or feel I can’t with the group of people I am with.  One of the last things I like is someone indiscriminately blabbing.  But I am just as put out if someone could have, and maybe should have, opened up to me and they did not.  I only hear the consequences later.  I know I am not right for everyone.  There are some things others are more suited to hearing about and dealing with.
One thing I have learnt though, is the circumstances and the personality may be distinct, but the difficulty is the same.  I may be different (that is true I hear you say) but it seems the things we face are common to mankind.  I don’t even want to try to solve everyone’s problems, as I am kept busy enough with my own.  But one thing does not change, I may not be the right person to talk to, but I will always care.  Then again, I may be the right person to talk to – are you ok?
One thing that has become bigger to me in recent times is the willingness to listen to hear rather than listening to speak.  Often, I do not need someone to rush in with perceived answers.  I need someone to listen.  For me, I very often know quite quickly if someone sees me as a scalp, rather than a person.  I tend to shut up shop if I feel that.
On the other hand, when I feel someone genuinely shares my burden and understands where I am coming from, I tend to talk a lot.  That’s a tell-tale sign in itself.  I really am a man of few words.  Even a man of few grunts.
I guess what I am saying is that solutions are not the starting point.  Maybe my experience is different, but problem-solving sessions for me have always involved outlining the problem and then exploring possible solutions.
We have problems with a tank pump.  The one we had served us well for many years, but it gave up the ghost.  We bought a replacement and I tried to install it.  I am sure others could, but I could not.  I have found that pumps are not a one size fits all thing.  So many are different and the attachments that may have been right for one need to be modified to be right for another. 
We got a plumber to install it.  I thought all my problems were over.  They weren’t.  He did all he had to and could not get it to work.  He told me he thought the chip was faulty.  I tried to detach it to return it.  I could not.  Someone had to come in and do it.  I returned it.  The place had no more of those pumps, so I got my money back and got another one elsewhere.  Today’s challenge is to try to attach it.  I admit I am not confident.  I reckon to attach it the attachments will need modification.
The thing for me is, if I had remained the strong silent type, the problem would not be solved.  It will be, and it may be hard (for me anyway), but I seek the help of others. I may be out of my comfort zone, but if I need help, I need help.