On Repeat

Someone put something on Facebook that is so scary because it is true.  It talked about the need to retrace steps to remember what I was at a certain place for.  That happens too often.  I really do not think a person needs to be old for it to happen.  It just happens more often then I would like it to.
I was in a group of people and I put up my hand to say something.  Others were saying things but it came to my turn.  What words of wisdom came from my lips when I was asked “Peter, you have something to say.”  My response “I did but I have forgotten.”  I really had.
That sort of thing can happen anytime, but I have found it can happen more since the stroke.  Seems like a good excuse to me anyway.  I need to have stuff written, otherwise at the time I need it, it may not be there anymore.
Poor Merril decided she needed to feed the birds.  She went into the kitchen to get the seed.  While there she saw something that needed doing and did it.  On the way out she saw something else and did it.  She got to where she started minus the bird seed and had to go back in for it.
I can be like sitting down outside and think “I need the stapler.”  So I walk to my study.  When I get there I can think “what did I come here for?” and then need to retrace my steps to lock in the reason for the walk.
I have a theory about such things, but it is just that – a theory.  Maybe a better word would be “excuse”.  I just think that often such things are not biggies to me.  They are not a part of my to do list and are mostly inconsequential.  Stapling pages together has never been a life and death thing to me.  I want to do it and it can help a process, but lives will not be lost as a result of my not doing it.
It is not fun to need to do it though.  I can make light of it, and have a good laugh about it later, but more often then not it is embarrassing.   One thing good about it though is that it is like I am having a thought for the first time when I forget I had already had it.  But I guess that is like a fish with a three second memory.
I used to laugh so much at an ad that had a fish going end to end in his tank.  There was the same serial product at each end.  Every time he saw it, it was like he was seeing it for the first time and described some different attribute of it.
Come to think of it, repeating myself is a bit like that.  Of course, I only do it for emphasis.  Actually, I do not really want to be like that.  I like new thoughts and mulling over something, but I prefer the same thing not to be repeated like it is the first time every time.
Naturally what I prefer and what happens are not always the same.  I have needed to retrace my steps in the past, I need to sometimes now, and for sure I will need to sometimes in the future.  Fact of life.  Get over it Kuskie.