Offend

It has not been front and centre, but I have thought about it a few times lately and am hoping by thinking about it some more it will become clearer.
Being offended.  It was brought on because someone I know seemed to be going great guns and someone has upset them, and they have withdrawn.  That was a surprise to me, and I did some considering of why?
I have looked at my own experience.  There have been times something has been said that really got my back up.  I reckon all experiences should be informative.  Even the bad ones.  If something is seen to be wasted it is a waste.
That does not mean I am not “once bitten twice shy.”  Sometimes it is like a big “stay away” sign is put up and it is the best thing I can do.  But I always need to be careful my reason would not be more correctly called an excuse.
It amazes me how many things are seen by me to be guiding principles.  When it comes to matters like this, I think all experiences should inform but none should alter for the worse.  To me offence is all about holding on and not letting go.
I know that if I let it, it can do immeasurable harm to myself and others.  I know at the very least I will stop growing as a person in that area.  It will become a “don’t go there” area.  A while back someone said something and I got offended.  I altered my behaviour for the worse.  I reckon it lasted all of a day.
As is always the case I asked for help.  Why accept a temporary solution over a permanent fix?  The fix was liberating.
I get astounded at how often I see holding on. Something seemingly inconsequential said of someone that was born in hurt.  I know from my experience that good chance I am the one most affected.  So often another goes on none the wiser.  Sometimes they are even unaware of the effect their words or actions have had.
That can end really badly.  Short term gratification and long-term pain. It is even worse if the offended considers it was worth it.  I don’t know that being offended is ever worth it.  My world is smaller for it.  I become consumed with the offence and other areas of my life are impacted negatively.
It is why I reckon it is worthwhile to nip these things in the bud.  I need to deal with it before it becomes an issue.  One of the things I am holding to recently is “what we concentrate on grows.”  This is the sort of thing that can easily get away on me.  I may feel like I control it, but before long it can control me.
If I am not careful this so easily destroys relationships.  I have experienced it and seen it, and no-one wins.