Notes

This may sound harsh.  I heard it yesterday and cannot help but think there may be some truth to it.  It is not something I wish on anyone, but it seems to come to most.
A guy was a great piano player.  He had a person sing at his piano.  Apparently they were really really good.  But the piano player felt there was something missing.  Technically they were spot on.  His comment was “they will be great, when something breaks their heart.”
It’s strange, I have always felt that with music.  Some performances are really really good.  Technically they are perfect.  But there is something missing.  Something the notes on a page cannot convey.  Written music may give me the timing and tempo, but the temperament is always subjective.  It may say “with feeling” or Andante or Allegretto or the like, but that is something only I can convey.  Following instructions does not bring life.  Only life can produce life.
It is sad but true, it is at the times of loss, I feel most deeply.  Whether I know it or not the loss is a part of my personality, and I carry it with me.  It affects my outlook.  It does not make me a morose human being (hopefully) but it does make me a more understanding human being.
I find the best way to relate to another, is to have been through what they are going through.  There is a world of difference between advice and experience.  There is no doubt in my mind advice can be good and the right thing at the right time.  But somehow advice born of experience, carries more weight for me.  I feel the person understands.  They have been there.  They have found answers and a hope for going on.  What I am going through now will pass.  How it ends is up to me.
In no way do I want or expect to go through everything.  I know that would overwhelm me. (Isn’t it weird how someone is always “overwhelmed.”  No one ever says, “I feel a little whelmed today.”)
But that to me is why we need each other.  There are those who have no concept of what I am dealing with.  That to me is ok.  They have concepts that are foreign to me, but appropriate for another.
But there are also those who have felt what I am feeling.  There is an empathy born of experience.
A piece of music needs to be felt.  Notes on a page convey the “what.”  The performance can convey the “how”.