My Best

I mentioned recently about how I cough and sputter these days.  It seemed that, as far as my abilities go, what mattered to me most, I had lost.
I have experienced the coughing and spluttering on more than one occasion.  The one that stands out to me big time, was when I addressed table tennis players.  I would be concerned if I saw someone doing what I did, in front of me.  Fortunately for me it happened after I had talked, rather than during it.
I have been asked to talk for an extended period of time once since.  Nothing should be made of the fact that two people walked out during it.  They had somewhere to be.  I took the second person leaving as my que to finish up.  I am just thankful the talking for extended periods can be done (though others may not share my enthusiasm – euthanasia might seem more appropriate.)
For me, it is not about rueing what I have lost, but managing what I have.  I will never be what I was.  Unfortunately for me though, I took a lot for granted.  If it was not for what happened, I would have been the world’s number one table tennis player.  And if you believe that, you would believe anything.  As Joni Mitchell sang, “you don’t know what you got till it’s gone.” 
I never knew how important the brain is. Sure in one way I knew.  I could say I had a head knowledge, but I won’t.  I think it is right and proper that I do not dwell on some things.  But to me it is never right and proper to take anything for granted.  Whether I like it or not, it could be all gone in an instant.  It sorta was for me.  I went into the operation one way, and came out another.
I am a statistics person.  A mate of mine got a job in statistics and said “what are the chances?”  They reckon 20% of the population is disabled in some way.  That to me is a lot of people.  One in five.  If the world’s population is five billion, that is like a billion people.  That to me is a significant number.  It is probably why “Employable Me” is so popular, and the NDIS is getting such attention.
The disabled are not the ones in the ads.  They are the beautiful people and when they are not considered beautiful enough their image is air brushed.  What we see a lot of though is not the only way it is.  One in five cannot relate.  Their aspirations may be similar, but there is a lot getting in the way.
I did not intend going down this path.  I had a very limited knowledge that this world existed.  But it does.  Many politicians would be happy to garner 20% of the vote.  I remember hearing about a guy that was helping people who had leprosy (before what we have available today was known).  One day he was not speaking to them, but as them.
For me, and many worse off than me, it is a case of dealing with the hand I have been dealt.  Wishing changes nothing.  The brain needs rewiring.  I may never be the best, but I can be the best that I can be.