Moving On

As I have indicated, Merril retires soon. Our conversations are probably weird at the best of times. Recently Merril said something while I had a mouthful of coffee. It made me laugh. My computer was in front of me. The coffee really only had one way to go. A clean up ensued.
Death and taxes are declared as inevitable. Taxes are talked about all the time at the moment, but death almost never. Unless of course it is an ad for Real Life Insurance. There are plenty of those. To me, never is a bit much, as is always.
The reason I mention death and taxes is Merril and I went there in our conversation. I went to a family gathering once and there were aunts, uncles and cousins galore. Someone did a talk and a slide show. One picture showed a baby and the presenter asked “who does that look like?” The answer was, Peter Kuskie. I did not know that person or know of them, yet they were a relative of mine from the past.
It got me thinking, and it is what Merril and I have talked about. I would not have a clue, but I hope that person lived long and prospered. The thing is though, I reckon the people 200 years ago acted the same way I do. They lived like they were going to live forever, and nothing could go wrong. I think it is best we do not anticipate the worst, but things do happen. Anton Yelchin (the guy who played Checkov in the latest Star Trek series) died in a freak accident. So did Stuart Appleby’s (the golfer) wife. I was rightly not wanted back at work after my stroke. I did jokingly wonder where they were going to find the 14 people to replace me.
The fact is though, life goes on. I am not indispensable – as much I would like to think I am. It is sad (for us) but true, that people will look at photo’s at Merril’s place of work, and see a picture of Merril and say, “who’s that?” There is no doubt that Merril’s contribution has been significant, and she has been a good influence in her work environment, but a generation will arise, who did not know Merril.
I am rearranging my study. It is probably more crowded, but it is a tidy crowded. I know though, that the day will come when someone will go through my things and keep what is useful to them, and get rid of the rest. I have in my study things that matter to us. That does not mean they will matter to someone else. The Government and businesses have stored electronically what matters to them about me, but they do not have my music collection or the books I have. They are the personal things.
Merril has done her job well. I like to think I did mine well to. It all mattered at the time. Many of our actions though, are only a building block for others. That is one of the reasons why I live like I do. We contribute, but what happens inside me seems to me to be the most important thing.